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Finishing
That Script
Even undiscovered geniuses can use some schooling.
How to make Meryl Streep snort orchid cocaine? Create a screenplay, of course. How to create a screenplay? Take a screenwriting class, of course. That’s what I did, and that’s what the character of Donald Kaufman did in the movie Adaptation. See how well that turned out?
In Adaptation, Nicolas Cage plays twin brothers Charlie and Donald Kaufman, both screenwriters, the former successful but overly self-critical, the latter aspiring but cliched and bumbling. While Charlie struggles to adapt a book about orchids, Donald smashes to success with car chases and explosions and murder.
Writing screenplays is easy. Selling them is near impossible. And living here doesn’t make it any easier. But if New York has anything going for it–which I’m told it might–it’s the abundance of courses, workshops and seminars for the screenwriter. Plus, you can dip into the massive pool of human talent that surrounds us.
Last summer, when I moved here, I blitzkrieged New York University’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies and signed up for, among numerous others, a course in screenwriting. It attracted quite an interesting mix of people. I sat next to a Jewish girl who envisioned a movie about romance and Palestine, and who never shut up. There was a film geek who wore brown tweed suits and used pictures cut from magazines crustily glued onto index cards to explain his plot summaries. And my favorite: the woman from the Bronx who wore faded Latina booty jeans and smelled like Walgreens-brand perfume.
And me.
"We get a whole range of people, from your local building doorman to housewives with too many children," says Michael Zam, associate director of NYU’s SCPS Programs in the Humanities. "People do too much left-brain stuff, and [these classes] are an outlet for them to use their inhibited creativity."
Zam’s is probably the most popular adult-education center in the city, and rightly so: It has a great reputation, has great people working for it and isn’t all that expensive (most classes cost between $500 and $600 and last eight to ten weeks). The Certificate in Screenwriting, "an optional professional credential," is awarded to people who complete specific course requirements in the department.
"The idea of the school is that our teachers are experienced professionals in their field, and we want to mix real-world experience with classroom theory," says Ken Brown, an SCPS spokesman. "We help students get a jump on what they want to do in life, and they get to network with people in their field and with their interests."
Another option is the Gotham Writers’ Workshop. You may have seen their pamphlets blowing along the sidewalk at some point while walking around the city. Classes are a little bit cheaper, between $300 and $400, with a $25 registration fee, but the school follows the same idea of getting a bunch of experienced professionals who can also teach well.
"We have a very structured way of running class that involves lectures, writing exercises and critique," says Dana Miller, Director of Student Affairs, who has also taken many of the Gotham screenwriting courses. "We require people to go around the room and each give positive and helpful comments.
"You don’t just have a professor sit on the edge of the desk and ask ‘What did everyone think?’ Ten out of the 14 students will be too shy to speak. And you don’t want to get mired in the negative either, or people won’t be encouraged to write."
There are purists in the industry, however, who don’t believe anyone can actually "teach" how to be a successful screenwriter. When I took my course, I learned the practical elements of writing a movie. Our instructor never told us how to convince a film studio to buy our work, or even what types of film ideas are assured to break the box office.
"I never took any screenwriting classes and most professionals I’ve talked to haven’t taken any classes either," says Christopher Wehner, the editor/publisher of Screenwriters Monthly, a trade magazine he started in late 2002. "For me, the best education you can get is living life a little so you can have experiences to draw from when you write your stories. If you haven’t suffered through pain and regret, you’re not going to be a good writer."
The other problem with blossoming writers of any kind is their belief that they’re undiscovered geniuses. According to Wehner, the screenwriters who do make it big are the ones who aren’t chasing after wild delusions of fame.
"The ones who succeed are surprised by it," says Wehner. "They are the ones who always challenge themselves, always worry their writing isn’t good enough and they’ll be discovered for the frauds they are, always approach their work with a critical eye. They never think they are brilliant."
But Wehner isn’t entirely opposed to the idea of screenwriting courses. Having taken one myself, I would recommend it for people who are beginners and want to dabble like I did, or for people who find their real jobs a tad dull. Like Illana Poley, a 26-year-old legislative auditor for the Colorado Office of the State Auditor who signed up for courses with Lighthouse Writers Workshop, Gotham’s Denver equivalent.
"I needed a creative outlet, something to provide me with both a little entertainment and a little personal edification," says Poley. "I ended up finding a good balance between being entertained and working toward the concrete goal of producing my own screenplay. If the other people in your class are more serious about their work, that also inspires you to do better."
That may be the best reason to take one of these courses: You have a small forum of people with whom to exchange critiques and ideas. You don’t feel alone in your endeavor. And you don’t have to shell out megabucks for a script coach or consultant. True, you can just email it off to one of your brainy writing friends and wait for them to get back to you with revisions, but I found it more exciting to get out of the apartment to meet and talk with new people.
And when you’re done, even if a major film studio doesn’t buy your idea, there’s still hope. With the advent of inexpensive filmmaking and editing technology, just about anyone can write a screenplay and produce an independent film and have a chance at showing it at any one of the hundreds of festivals held here and abroad each year. The only hard part left will be standing in Meryl Streep’s bushes until she agrees to star in your movie.
