BUSH TO CITY: “LET THEM EAT FEAR”

JUST DAYS after George W. Bush registered the lowest poll ratings of his presidency, a dramatic television press conference was convened by Atty. Gen. John Ashcroft and FBI director Robert Mueller to report that al Qaeda operatives are almost certainly in the U.S. planning an attack that will likely happen between now and the November election.

Gee, ya think?

No new specific evidence was cited during the press conference, nor was any provided to intelligence committees in Congress. Harold Schaitberger, president of the International Association of Fire Fighters, spoke for many when he said, "I find it at a minimum very suspicious that we are now going to be listening to a new, heightened awareness...of terrorists, conveniently timed to when we see the president's approval ratings plummet."

Rep. Zoe Lofgren (D-CA), a member of the House Homeland Security Committee, said, "It is not a news conference event to say that al Qaeda is planning to attack us. We've known that for years."

Indeed, the timing and delivery of this latest warning were so rank that a slightly embarrassed Tom Ridge was moved to admit, "There's not a consensus within the administration that we need to raise the threat level." Moreover, Sec. Ridge pointedly told NBC that "there is absolutely nothing specific enough" to warrant a change in the alert level of the country.

In other words, the government just felt like it was high time for another scary presser. Maybe throw out a new "Most Wanted" poster for the media to gnaw on.

Here in New York—in terrorist jargon, "the most target-rich" city in the world—the dire tone of the latest official warning rings especially hollow. Ashcroft again asked for local law enforcement's help, but his boss still plans to slash aid to state and local law enforcement by almost one- third. According to Newsday, the Bush budget leaves New York City about $900 million short of what it says it needs to protect itself, while giving the president's Wall Street campaign contributors in New York a new tax break of more than $81,000 each.

Last week's press conference wasn't without comedy. According to a report in the Washington Post, Ashcroft told assembled reporters that al Qaeda operatives in the United States are likely to be European-looking, in their late 20s or early 30s and to speak English well.

So if you see some Ben Stiller look-alikes around Times Square with a suitcase, make sure to call 1-888-NYC-SAFE. Someone will be with you shortly.