By Dan Martino

Weds., July 28

New York City's hiphop acts are losing in the charts to those dirty crunksters from the South. This week's Billboard top-ten rap joints have six of those new slurring, grimy breeds. Like plain grits, a lot of these tracks are bland. The Neptunes and Outkast know how to apply a proper serving of butter and let a song melt in your mind. Lil' John's beats are not so much infectious as in your face OOOOOOOOHKAAAAYS. They demand you just get crazy and pour hot sauce on the big, round ass grinding next to you. At least in the videos.

With the South exploding, NYC natives like 50 Cent and Lloyd Banks have started copping their Confederate brothers' delivery techniques: slurred and dizzy. But local hiphop is still more indebted to sampled funk and jazz than 808 synths, as heard on all those 12-minute party raps from the early 80s that utilized samples from 70s disco records. The Sugarhill Gang's, "Rapper's Delight" (which uses Chic's "Good Times" for its source) epitomized the party-rapping, New York City anthem. By the early 90s, producers had found a way to minimalize the never-ending party chants and create pop tunes, splicing old soul songs for hooky choruses.

If you're feeling nostalgic for fun, early-90s hiphop, when sunny vibes and sugary raps were laced over jazzy beats, Wild Pitch Records has just reissued a sampling of its tunes from that period, Wild Pitch Classics LP. This might be what you need to get in a good mood and kick an urge to dance without smearing yourself in hot sauce. I still rock UMC's De La-inspired "Blue Cheese"; it doesn't get the biggest reaction, but someone always comes over to my decks to ask about it. There are also a few tracks from the gruffy-voiced Chill Rob G, who never fell into the trap of rapping about flowers, but came off tough—if not as tough as, say, Freddie the Foxxx. Anyone who ends their name with three Xs is just plain dangerous. Though my last name ends in a vowel, a lot people are still scared of me, thinking my family is in the Jersey sanitation and construction biz.

Enter Mark the 45 King. Most people don't know his name, but you sure as hell know one of his production gems, "900 Number." It was always playing in the background of Ed Lover and Dre on Yo! MTV Raps. DJ Kool added some crowd chants and your grandmother was doing head spins at the last wedding you attended when it got dropped. But Mr. 45 is not a one-hit wonder. He's done production work for Queen Latifah and discovered Chill Rob G.

Since I have no one to whack—Uh, since I have no garbage to dispose of on Wednesday, I'll be at Joe's, dancing to the sounds of a simpler time in hiphop. OOOOOOHKAAAAAAAAY.

Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778, 11, $10.