WHILE NEW YORK CITY is under martial law, the state legislature in Albany is debating a much more pressing issue: urinal cakes.

Those giant pink waxy breath mints you so often find in urinals aren't just keeping the bathroom from stinking too bad, see—they're also putting every last one of us (well, half of us anyway) in terrible, terrible danger!

In recent months, people with way too much time on their hands have been lobbying the state for a urinal-cake ban, insisting that they just might trigger asthma attacks, and could possibly contain something that could be carcinogenic.

This latest ban is focused on urinal-cake use in the New York public school system. After all, they've already been banned from the prisons, and are we really more concerned about the health of our hardened criminals than we are about our own children?

The debate rolls on, with both sides gearing up for the battle of a lifetime. You could call it a sword fight.

No need to worry, though. Urinal cakes have already been banned here in NYC. And with luck, City Council will get back to that historic "used underwear" bill before long. In the meantime, we're on the edge of our seats, waiting, wondering if our latest home business will land us in the klink.