By Dr. Dot
drdot@drdot.com
www.puredrdot.com

I seem to have a problem getting girls. I am almost 19 and have not had one girlfriend through high school. I have been told I have a great personality and I’m very funny, but I have a somewhat low self-esteem and think that the girls I find attractive are better than me. The other ones I just don’t find attractive. Do you have any advice? 

—Lonely Luke

Young guys are usually too picky with girls. But, as time goes on and you realize they aren’t exactly throwing themselves at you, you may need to lower your standards. What I mean is, she doesn’t have to look like Angelina Jolie or Hilary Duff. Girls that are super hot, can sometimes be shallow or mean. They were never forced to develop a good character because of their looks, so maybe you should take notice of the plain girls. Confidence wins over most girls, and to build it, you may need to “date down” (a girl less attractive than yourself). I know this sounds mean, but it will give you practice and build your confidence. Making girls laugh is the best aphrodisiac that I know. 

I broke up with a girl in June. We were madly in love and had been seeing each other for over a year. She walked in on me with a female friend who was sleeping over at my apartment and went nuts. To make a long story short, the situation got very ugly. I don’t know what to do. I still love her, but I don’t know if I could trust her or if she can trust me if we ever got back together. She’s tried calling me to talk about things but I’ve just been mean because I’m still confused and hurt. How much time should pass between us for this to settle down. Help me out, Doc.

—Burnt-Out Brian

I wouldn’t let too much time pass or she will have found another. You say you aren’t sure if you can trust her yet you had a female sleeping over that she didn’t know about and you are being mean to her when she calls. You must have a huge cock or something because not many girls would put up with that shit. If you still “love her” as you say, then you better get busy and show it, or you can kiss that one goodbye. 

Recently my girlfriend stopped halfway through sex, so I asked her about it and she told me that it’s always the same and she needs a little change. She says it has nothing to do with the position but just how I do her. I have no idea what this means. I don’t know if it’s speed or pressure—I just don’t know. She also mentioned that she wants more excitement. I know a healthy sex life is really important, and I want her to keep wanting it. I basically want her to be desperate for it. I’m scared that she will go elsewhere for what she wants. Please help me. 

—Joel

Making your girlfriend “desperate” for sex will usually back fire on you, as girls don’t need it as bad as guys. Also, don’t push your luck because girls can usually get laid anytime, anywhere. Try doing her outside to add some spice or ask her to wear a skirt or dress that you can just lift it up somewhere quiet (in a public restroom) to give her a good lickin’ and stickin’. Always doing it in the bedroom will bore anyone. Use your imagination and ask her for ideas. Communication and fantasies are vital for a hot sex life. 

My boyfriend and I had a long distance relationship for two years. He told me if I moved to the East Coast we would marry and move into a big house. I moved into his tiny apartment three years ago, and still no marriage proposal and sadly, no big house. I feel he has gotten so comfortable that we will never move on in our relationship. He is 38 and I am 35 and I don’t want to wait forever to have a kid and live in a real house. I feel cheated since I left my whole life behind for the mirage. How do I get him to move his ass?

—Pissed Off Pammie 

Ah, the old bait and switch. I think it’s a bad idea when the woman changes her life for the man. He should change his life for you if anything. Now it’s done and you see the results. It’s an old expression, but why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? If you miss your old life, tell him you want to move back there and he is welcome to join you if he wants. If you like the East Coast, try to get your own place and make sure you tell him why you are moving out. If he wants you bad enough, he will move his ass and fulfill his promise. If not, you won’t feel as guilty leaving that bullshit behind.