By J.R. Taylor

Is there any finer punishment than seeing the hackety-hacks who hyped ’90s alt-rock females now stuck with praising Christina Aguilera? Some of them are desperate enough to make a pitch for Paris Hilton. It’s no wonder that Sleater-Kinney broke up. It had to be inherently insulting to get good reviews in the same pages. 

So it’s all the more exciting when superficial pop gals emerge with true talent. Joanna has easily made one of the year’s best albums. At the very least, This Crazy Life is one of the year’s best albums to contain a Diane Warren song. The teen songstress, however, also takes songwriting credit on plenty of the compositions. 

That’s believable, too, since those same songs have Joanna wresting for control of the pop template with a rock ’n’ roll delivery. This Crazy Life doesn’t have a single original idea outside of the sheer confidence of a young woman redeeming her genre. It’s both rebellious and endearing. The sound is further in line with Joanna’s big media hook. She’s been hammered by hype before, with a stage career derailed when—after winning the role in a nationwide talent search—Joanna found herself abruptly ditched from a Broadway revival of Annie.

We’re more enamored by the big media hook of Joanna playing Bloomingdale’s. Her big day starts at 11 a.m. on September 9 at Roosevelt Field, and then she’s off to a 3 p.m. appearance at the big store on 59th & Lexington. It’s part of a Back to School campaign, and that’s how we like our teen goddesses. Otherwise, we’d be stuck watching her opening for Nick Lachey later this year.

This brings us to Dirtie Blonde, whose management ties have them stuck opening for Teddy Geiger at the Nokia Theater on September 7th before opening for Nick Lachey in some shows before Joanna takes over the slot. Sexy frontwoman Amie Miriello might be ancient enough to be in her twenties, but she’s still punk rock in the most annoying sense. The bombastic bimbo is also eager to show off the fact that she is competition for the Pussycat Dolls on the strip circuit-where they all belong. 

The band’s self-titled debut is still compelling in a catchy and self-conscious way. Miriello’s bandmates look like male models, but they hammer out stupid pop in a style that shows they’ve got some self-respect. They probably wish they were backing up Joanna. Still, both acts are rare winners in what’s become a ditzy demolition derby—and there’ll be even more greatness if Fefe Dobson or Samantha Ronson can ever get their albums released.

Joanna. September 9. Bloomingdale’s Roosevelt Field, 630 Old Country Road, Garden City, NY; 11 a.m.; Bloomingdale’s, 1000 3rd Ave. (59th St. & Lexington); 3 p.m., Free.

Dirtie Blonde. September 7. Nokia Theater Times Square, 1515 Broadway (at W. 44th St.), 212-930-1950; 8, $17.50