My man and I have sex very often and it’s usually good. But in the past few weeks, he has lost his erection twice. I have two kids and he is a little on the smaller side. Could it be that my vagina isn’t tight enough and he isn’t feeling me? 

—Loose Loretta

You could be jumping to conclusions. Some men lose their erections when they are stressed out. One day, ask him if he is happy with your sex life. It’s best to ask this outside of the bedroom as direct eye contact is sometimes too intense. If you think your pussy is too lose after two kids, you could get Vaginoplasty (a procedure in which the doctor sews your snatch up a bit and makes it tight like a virgin again). The downside is you can’t have sex for six to eight weeks. In the end, altering your body in any way should be for your own happiness and comfort, not for anyone else.

I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. Although we love each other, we are talking about splitting up. The problem is that we each don’t get something we greatly desire out of the relationship: I want a more sociable companion and he wants a woman who genuinely enjoys dick stuffed far into her throat, and fingers and cock in her ass. He’s never going to be more sociable, and I will tolerate his preferences in bed—but not welcome them. Although we’re both in our 30s, neither of us is mature enough to know if this is stuff worth breaking up over. We both feel like we might be missing out on meeting someone who satisfies these desires, but we both recognize how rare it is to find someone who you get along with on many other levels. What do you think? 

—Tightass

I hate having things shoved in my ass—fingers, cocks, toys, etc. Some men like the ass play because it’s a dirty taboo, while others love to stick things in women’s asses or brutally cram their cocks too far down women’s throats simply because they love to dominate them (they associate pain with power and lust). If they know you hate it and they keep trying, it means they don’t care how you feel. You compromise by letting him penetrate your sacred ass, as you know he likes it, yet he won’t socialize? Sounds like bullshit to me. If you feel the need to stay with him because you fear someone better may not come along, then stay with him but tell him your ass is off limits from now on. If you have the balls, just say you are fucking tired of the ass play. Exit only.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months and everything has been wonderful. He is romantic, generous and we have started having really good sex. However, last time we were alone at his house, we were playing around in his bathroom and he said he wanted to watch me shit. I let him watch but it felt weird. In bed that night he told me next time he wants to lie in the bathtub beneath a piece of glass and watch me shit onto it. I really like him, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my days shitting on glass. Help! I want my man, but I want him to be at least kind of normal.

—Shit Scared Sarah

I am certainly not a shit expert and I’m wondering if your boyfriend is German. I heard this trend started in Hamburg in the ’60s. I think it’s disgusting, but if you don’t mind and it makes him happy, go for it. A lack of interest in feces used to be one of the things that set us apart from the apes, so maybe he is just really old fashioned. I wonder who gets the shitty job of cleaning up this mess after the “fun” is over. The things we do for love.

My boyfriend can only cum when having sex with me from behind, vaginally with me on top or when I am giving him oral sex. But he cannot cum when he is on top, which is important to me. What do I do?

—Missing the Missionary

This is a popular dilemma, and I think it has to do with eye contact. Some men have to think really dirty thoughts in order to get them to shoot their load and sometimes face to face is so intense they can lose their cum concentration. If you look him in the eyes when you blow him, and he still cums, then it’s not the eye contact that turns him off of the missionary position. It could just mean your pussy feels better to him from behind (and/or he adores looking at your ass), or he just prefers doggy style and head. It’s no big whoop, don’t take it personal. Use actions, not words. Guide his body on top of yours and then whisper “fuck me like this for a while.” Analyzing every little thing your man does will destroy any passion you two have going on.