By Dope Peddler

Life Is a Cabaret

At the Algonquin Hotel Saturday, Dope Peddler bumped into beloved cabaret singer  Andrea Marcovicci and asked her who she would pay to see. Showing an appealing willingness to heap praise on both protégés and rivals, she promptly named seven or eight “amazing,” “must see” talents. Among her favorites: “Barbara Brussell is incredible…And Maude Maggart, who’s Fiona Apple’s sister, is something so special.”    

Winter Vacation

Ever wonder how reporters know which celebs have had “work” done? One way of finding out is simply by doing what everyone else does: searching the Web.   

Connoisseurs of this subject visit the Web site awfulplasticsurgery.com, which has regular updates, and special archived features divided up into categories (bad boob jobs, cheekbone implants, etc.) Among the seemingly proof-positive photos on the site are ones showing the less-than-lovely results of breast augmentation procedures reportedly done on Lindsay Lohan, Salma Hayek, Andie MacDowell, Gwen Stefani, Vivica A. Fox, Minnie Driver, Kate Beckinsale, Lil’ Kim and Posh Spice.

Other sites offer info on plastic surgery addiction, a mental disorder that’s far from unique to Michael Jackson.

But nothing beats insider chatter. So, with trendy guys and gals now returning to the city, arrived fresh from the islands with their new noses and breasts—attributing their altered looks to tans and haircuts—we polled a panel of informed sources about who the worst “junkies” are. Some names we heard were obvious ones, like Bruce Jenner, Burt Reynolds and Faye Dunaway. Others were unexpected. We were surprised, for instance, to hear of novelist Anne Rice’s purported problem, and that of comedienne Mary Tyler Moore.

Two celebs Dope Peddler won’t soon forget seeing whose “work” left them looking like their own celebrity doubles: singers Barry Manilow and Kenny Rogers.

Caged Heat From Seven Stories

There are many reasons to live in New York. Dope Peddler was reminded of this at a party for Seven Stories Press, the leftist imprint that puts out books by the likes of Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky and Ralph Nader. Tacked up in the company’s bathroom are memorable complaint letters. One is from a women’s prison official named Norma B. Batten, the chairperson of the publication review committee of a state penal institution in Raleigh, NC. In returning a company offering on female masturbation techniques, entitled The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World At Your Fingertips, the prison matron helpfully explained that the book “could be detrimental to the security and good order of the prison facility and the rehabilitation of the inmate.” So tell us: would having inmates get impregnated by the male guards be less detrimental?