Apparently, Michael Bloomberg has started a trend that is only just getting started. The latest media mogul to publicly float dreams of grandeur isn’t AOL’s Richard Parsons, but none other than ad executive-turned-TV host Donny Deutsch. In a recent interview with political talking head Chris Matthews, Deutsch inexplicably, with absolutely no prompting from Matthews, starting talking himself up as the next mayor of New York City! Fortunately, we may be spared because according to Deutsch, “I would be a great mayor of New York. I would take the best of Giuliani and the best of Bloomberg. But I can’t run. This political system does not allow for great leaders.” This was said with a straight face, deadpan and no punch line. Which, of course, means we should expect Deutsch to run for New York mayor sometime in the next decade. Even scarier: He just might win.

By now you’ve probably heard way too much about ex-“Seinfeld” star Michael “Kramer” Richard’s racial rant in which the n-word flowed from his mouth like sweet honey, resulting in the final nail being hammered into his relatively undistinguished career. Days after the incident, Richards appeared on the David Letterman show to apologize (ushered in by Jerry Seinfeld himself). Richards said, “I’m not a racist, that’s what so insane about this. Yet it’s said … It comes through, it fires out of me … I think it’s important for the Afro-American community to make sure this kind of crap doesn’t come about. I’m sorry it happened.” Yes, we’re sure the “Afro Americans” are happy he’s sorry for letting the real Kramer shine. Now how about an apology to all those Jheri-curl Americans?

Meanwhile, in Esquire’s new Genius Issue (sporting George Clooney on the cover—you do the math) the magazine’s John Ridley tells black folk to get over the whole n-word thing: “It’s time for ascended blacks to wish n—-ers good luck. Just as whites may be concerned with the good of all citizens but don’t travel their days worrying specifically about the well-being of hillbillies from Appalachia, we need to send n—-ers on their way.” Blah-blah, blahbidy-blah—another writer uses intellectual deep-crimson herrings (in this case, Bush as evil genius for hiring blacks to save his butt during a 2001 China crisis) to obscure the simple truth: A shocker article was needed this month to spice up an otherwise yawner of an issue. 

Speaking of the unspeakable, The Daily News released, with orgiastic glee, a front-page story on Tuesday with the headline “What Took You So Long?” detailing News Corp./New York Post owner Rupert Murdoch’s retreat from the book deal/television special created by O.J. Simpson and Judith Regan. Still smarting from the recent Post circulation win and subsequent celebration (an event that has sparked a free newspaper hawker street war unlike any we’ve ever seen) The Daily News wrote, “Murdoch stops a cockroach of a project not out of any sense of decency, but out of self-preservation … Murdoch stops it because the mud he likes on other people ended up on him this time and he didn’t like it.” Yes, and The Daily News would neeeever lower themselves in such a manner. Yeah, and Michael Richards sponsors a team at Harlem’s annual Rucker Park basketball tournament. Zing! Thank you all for coming, happy turkey day, and please tip your waiter.