Planet Fitness issued an official statement Nov. 22 in response to the now infamous “Gym Grunter,” New York resident Albert Argibay. According to Dave Lakhani, spokesman for the fitness center, a member of the staff asked Agribay to stop his “excessively loud grunting and screaming” as he lifted 500 pounds on one of the facility’s squat machines. Argibay refused and, when asked again, responded with profanity and misogynistic comments. The police were then summoned, at which point the grunter asserted that his boss is the captain of the police force (good one, Agribay!). His membership has since been terminated as Planet Fitness enforces a strict no grunting rule. The gym, which caters to average Joes, prides itself on being a “Judgment Free Zone;” after all, us folk of unimpressive physique are the ones who can least handle judgment. The rules, posted throughout the facility, include a ban on bandanas as well as on grunting. Because, you know, those bandana-sportin’ SOBs are sooo judgmental. When an offender is spotted, a “lunk alarm” sounds to caution the delinquent-health nut against impending doom. (A “lunk” is slang for a person who drops weights, grunts or judges.) Argibay claims that the noises he emitted constituted no more than heavy breathing, which, in our opinion, Planet Fitness should also forbid—it’s so annoying!