With a position of authority comes the ability to exploit subordinates, and some local professionals are accused of leveraging their title for decidedly unsavory objectives. A physics teacher at Benjamin N. Cardozo High School’s prestigious DaVinci Math Science Institute in Queens is under investigation for improperly touching a student during a classroom experiment. Leonard Brown, an 18-year veteran educator, was explaining Newton’s Third Law of Motion when he allegedly copped a feel of a female student’s breast. As a result, the administration immediately pulled Brown from the classroom, which, unfortunately, deprives students of a particularly steamy demonstration of the thermodynamic transfer between two bodies.

Also, a local woman caught her Wall Street lawyer on tape allegedly demanding a blowjob for his legal services in an accident case. After allegedly suffering repeated demands for sex, Luisa Esposito wore a microphone to the office of Allen Isaac, 72, a married attorney. She got a confession, but the situation got a little stickier when, according to Esposito, the authorities refused to prosecute Isaac. Accordingly, she’s demanding $70 million in the lawsuit, which might make Isaac’s the costliest blowjob request since Clinton left office.