ATMs are certainly handy when you need some quick cash, but a pair of unseemly locals has been stealing thousands with the help of these beacons of banking simplicity. One such thief struck 15 Bank of America ATMs since the summer and shows little sign of stopping. The thief has perfected a method of rigging the machine’s card slot, so shortly after spying the users’ PIN number, the customers are unable to retrieve their ATM cards. Usually, after fiddling with the machine for a while, disgruntled patrons inevitably give up, allowing the wily thief to extract the card and make hefty withdrawals. This clever process has earned the thief more than $5,000, and this person is still at large. In the meantime, BoA members might want to consider a switch to CitiBank.

Also, a Brooklyn mortuary technician from the city medical examiner’s office has been charged with grand larceny after stealing the bank card of a corpse. When Phillip Bethune, 38, went to retrieve a body from the man’s Brooklyn residence, he also snatched the man’s card and PIN number. Over the next three days, Bethune took about $3,000 from the deceased man’s account. The money will likely go back to the victim’s estate; hopefully, Bethune didn’t overdraft the account because those charges can kill, er ... cost a lot.