By Dr. Dot
drdot@drdot.com
http://www.puredrdot.com

Q. I’m dating a stripper, and we have the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. She’s exciting, spontaneous and dirty. It drives me wild. This sort of passion is addictive, like a drug that I can’t live without. Problem is, although we met at her work, I now get super jealous when I see her strip. I used to love watching her dance, now it pisses me off since the men are pigs and disrespect her. I’ve gotten into a few brawls already and can’t control my jealous rages. How can I keep her and our hot love going strong without driving her away? She threatened me last night and said if I keep it up, it’s over. I would die if that happened. I love your column and know if anyone could help, it would be you. 

A. You know, it seems to me you men are never happy. You moan about your women being boring, then when you get what you want, they’re too exciting. Steady, predictable behavior is tedious, yet wild passion makes you nervous. Make up your mind what suits you and stay with it. You met her at a strip club, what the hell did you think would happen? She’d suddenly give up her job for you? Would you give up your job for a girl? 

At all cost avoid going to her work. Does she come to your job and watch you work? I think not. Don’t even mention her work. Your apathetic approach will make her interested in you even more, as I’m sure 99.9 percent of the men she’s dated have all freaked out. So, be different: No need to explain the sudden change, just get busy and mind your own business. If you can’t stand the heat, stay the hell out of the kitchen. 

Q. For the last two months I have been dating a man who was dumped by his ex one month before he started dating me. He told me “she treated him like shit,” but he still has feelings for her, especially now that she wants him back. I really like this guy. Should I fight for him or let go? How can I make him forget her?

A. Fighting over a guy is about as useless as a cat flap in an elephant house. Apparently he likes abuse, and unless you are willing to abuse him, let him go get his dose. Don’t take his wishy-washy ass back unless you too are into being treated like dirt. It’s always best to ask a person how long ago their last relationship was when you first meet them. Anything less than six months and you’re bound to have some rebound mess. I’d tell him, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Do you really want to be his second choice? I think not. I follow the rule that love works best when the man is more in love with the woman. This guy sounds like he’s in love with another woman. So, if he can live without you, let him!

Q. Hard to believe, but I am almost 30 and have never had an orgasm. The men I have sex with try as hard as they can to make me cum, but it never happens. I end up getting pissed off at them and I throw them off me in a huff. I am a very sexual woman, but I don’t climax. I feel left out, ripped off.

A. You can’t expect a man to get you off if you can’t make it happen yourself, can you? In order to be able to get it right with a man, first find out what it takes to make yourself cum. 

My suggestion: Make a hot date with yourself, sip some wine, have a hot bath, shave yourself nice and tidy, and pop your favorite porn into the player. (If you don’t have porn, it’s a good time to invest.) Spread a blanket out on the floor and put two or three pillows vertically on top of each other, forming what will be your “man.” The floor is best for getting up into the hard-to-reach-spot—also known as your clit. Cover the pillows with a towel since they’ll get wet. Have plenty of lube and the remote within reach. Lube up your preferred hand and lie on top of it and the pillows. 

No need to go inside since the clit is what needs to be stimulated. This can be done easily by rocking back and forth on top of your four fingers (riding one hand which is between you and pillows). The pillows need to be vertical, and your legs should drape down on each side of the pillows to put more pressure on your hand/clit. Let go of all pointless thoughts, just get selfish and make sure you cum. 

Once you learn to do that, you will know what pressure and frame of mind it takes to trip your trigger. Some girls can make themselves cum much easier by riding a guy than having the guy do all the work. As disturbing as it sounds, the clit is like a tiny penis, so treat it accordingly. Inner stimulation is fun, but the clit needs some action to climax. Keep me posted so we can celebrate your first orgasm.