You’re at a club and all those glitz and glam kids have their bottles and their fuck-you faces on. They look bored; they look stupid. Remember when you thought New York would be fun? That the people would be interesting and you could dance all night cuz that’s what the cool kids did? Instead, everyone looks like they hate themselves more than when they lived in Arkansas. Well, People Don’t Dance No More are hoping to change all that with their inaugural party at Element this Friday. The premiere party includes DJ Druzzi of the band The Rapture as well as Johnny Love of Guns’n’Bombs and James F!@#$% Friedman (pictured above) of Throne of Blood. Also count on resident DJs Robot Blair of Music-for.Robots and David Bruno of Slap You in Public to get the dance masses moving. Just picture it: standing in a former bank-turned-bar, dance music is shaking through your bones and a non-chemically induced smile is creeping up on your face. It’s enough to make you wanna—dance! At least if you still have some soul left in your tired stumps. 

Jan. 5. Element, 225 E. Houston St. (at 1st Ave.),

212-254-2200; half-price well drinks 10-11, $10/$15.