As proclaimed by Lindsay Lohan, this has been the Year of the Adequate. A lot of traditionally overrated bands put out perfectly fine albums. Pearl Jam, Yo La Tengo, Basement Jaxx and many others failed to offend. We even got exceptionally strong turns from Elf Power and Rhett Miller. That hasn’t kept rock critics from succumbing to listing plenty of useless albums out of fear of seeming unhip. Too late for some of us, though—here, let me prove it to you:

No crappy album from The Arcade Fire this year, but Owen Pallett graced us with his even worse—or is it cleverer?—side project. Is it really a concept album about Dungeons & Dragons? Did anyone bother to piece together what might be a rock opera amongst various characters saying impenetrable things? We only know that it’s now possible for winsome orchestral pop to sound both soggy and strained.

The year’s first album included plenty of cover tunes, which would’ve been a welcome change from Brooklyn’s mopiest collection of aspiring Eurohicks—except that we’ve already heard Hem turn “Jackson” into a creeping disaster back in 2004. Funnel Cloud is more Poco for hipsters, or easy listening for those who couldn’t handle when Cowboy Junkies went electric.

They ditched piracy for Japanese folktales, but The Decemberists are still living in the shadow of Adam Ant—or Johnny Kidd, or anyone else who ever looked like they should have a parrot on their shoulder. Even high-school kids indulge in this kind of wonky instrumentation nowadays. They wouldn’t try getting away with these kinds of lyrics, though.

No album yet from this “Rock Star: Supernova” contestant, but she managed to be the most overhyped dame of the year. Go to YouTube and check out her cover of “Lithium.” She stands perfectly still while carefully emoting, as if we aren’t all aware that she’ll go for a big finish by rushing all about the stage. A rock performance has never seemed more like dentistry.

He’s angry and irreverent and dares to say all the same shocking things that teens hear every day from their Social Studies teacher who grew up in the ’70s but wishes it had been the ’60s. Any adults who go to see Lewis Black just want to be reassured that they’re still on the cutting edge while being politically correct. The next day, they go to Pottery Barn.

Lewis Black’s fans hear this at Pottery Barn and think, “Hey, it’s a female Marvin Gaye!” Then they worry that they just had a sexist or racist thought.

He made an impact on somebody when he showed up on VH-1’s “In Search of the New Partridge Family,” and the resultant career makes a compelling case for the existence of the Velvet Mafia. Only a criminal element could take a 17-year-old kid and turn him into a slick, easy-listening act who sounds twice his age. Or at least as tired as someone twice his age after a wild night in the Hamptons with Elton John’s cabana boy.

People started taking the once-great Yankovic seriously in 1999, and he repaid the attention by bombing with a crappy parody based on an ancient pop tune. Now he’s just getting by on nostalgic affection. That’s still no excuse for an ancient gag of an album title, made only sadder by the redundancy of a “Trapped in the Closet” parody.

One of many lazy rock bands trying to get away with goofing on rock clichés. There are also plenty of surprising pop elements, but the same could be said of Humble Pie. It was left to Electric Six to demonstrate how the joke can become real greatness. You’re better off buying a recent Sparks album if you’re looking for an important mustache in rock ’n’ roll.

Living in the Be Nice To Muslims Decade finally allowed the former Cat Stevens to be forgiven for once calling for the death of Bono’s pal. (Yusuf still wants Salman Rushdie dead, but only if the author ever visits a Muslim country.) This album was particularly disappointing in the wake—and absence—of the fine “Indian Ocean” from last year. An Other Cup is simply the kind of lazy cash-in that must be forbidden somewhere in the Koran.