It takes a lot of work to get into a jail cell sometimes—particularly if you’re famous, or just really, really old. An aged former henchman for New York’s Genovese crime family fits the bill, and is likely to skip out on jail time due to his advanced state of decrepitude. Albert “The Old Man” Facchiano is living up to his nickname at the ripe age of 96 and has pled guilty to racketeering and witness-tampering charges that took place both in New York and California. The Fort Lauderdale judge, however, is expected to give him only house arrest, where he will likely live out his final days in Miami. And although Facchiano will remain a “made man” until his final day, it’s doubtful he’ll have his hand in too much criminal mischief. After 96 years, it’s safe to say that one’s whacking days are officially over.

Also, baseball analogies apparently don’t apply to Brooklyn rapper Foxy Brown, who is similarly enjoying life outside the clink. The Roc-A-Fella recording artist recently faced a judge for the third time after violating her probation and initiating a fracas that involved throwing hair glue at an employee of a South Florida beauty salon. For the third time, a sympathetic judge let Brown avoid jail time, this time with the strict understanding that another offense will put her behind bars. Chances are, though, if she can stay away from any projectile beauty supplies, she’ll be home free.