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DR. DOT
My girlfriend grew up in Chicago. She is wonderful, but going through a brutal divorce and cries all the time. She questions my feelings for her. I hate to hear people cry about everything. I find it weak and annoying. I’m aware that life is hard for her right now, but it’s killing me! I give her advice, and then she turns it around on me and my life. When I hear this shit, I get quiet. Then she knows that I’m upset and starts to apologize. She also has M.S. I love her and I’ll wait for her; I am very loyal and know I am a good boyfriend. I don't give up on people, hold grudges or worry about wasting time. I need input, some other way to look at this dilemma.
—At Wits End Wally
Some of those tears could be from missing her family and their support. I realize some may get emotional about a divorce, but she should be happy that she can move on and concentrate on her new relationship, instead of crying about the past. Some of the tears could be from the fear of her disease and/or perhaps she is on the pill, which can make any woman an emotional wreck. Write her a letter and tell her you were hoping she would be relieved and happy about finalizing her departure from her ex, but you are taking her tears as a sign she isn’t happy about your future together. Perhaps if she reads this, she will finally see that her whining is becoming selfish and making you feel responsible. You can’t save her from her disease, but you are there for her. So that should be enough to dry those miserable tears.
I started dating this guy and things got very good, very fast. He’s doing all the right things—dinners, plans to go away, etc. He even introduces me to everyone. The intensity has calmed a little (it’s been a month now), but I am still hungry for the chase. I think I am just addicted to intensity. Do you think that once guys decide they may have a future with a girl, they ease up because they are plotting their lives together. I’m trying to just flow and not create drama just to have the intensity. I want to continue playing my cards right. Can you suggest anything without much game playing? My instinct is to date others to protect myself, but that is an old script I want to rid myself of.
—Hungry Hannah
This is the sort of thing that makes men consider us high maintenance. He’s doing everything correctly, but you still want more. We all love passion, but that initial high one gets with a new partner cannot last forever. You can either keep dating new people to get that rush, or find another way to get it, like bungee jumping, learning karate or using your imagination and screwing your partner in forbidden places/situations. Of course it won’t be the same exact kind of rush, but it will keep things exciting. You don’t need to play any cards or games to make him chase you more. Just let him date you like he does and you may end up with a life-long partner who might not be shooting fireworks out of his ass, but will be there for you. Remember, as time goes on, stability becomes more attractive than constant passion.
I met this awesome chick online and agreed to meet her in person—as far as I could tell, she was interested in sex. Unfortunately, schedules were difficult and she ended up meeting me while I was out with my best friend. We both instantly fell in love with her. Being as how my time was wrapped up at the moment, he started seeing her regularly and she ended up dating him. The three of us remained friends, and the two of them have even spent the night at my place. Still, there’s genuine sexual tension between us. She knows what she does to me, and she is very flirty with both of us when we are with her. He doesn’t live in the city, so he has to come from the suburbs. But because she and I are usually in close proximity, there’s always the sense that something could happen. Recently, I received a text message saying that she “really wants to come over tonight.” That’s a major betrayal of my best friend, but I was thinking with my cock and I invited her over for a nightcap.
She got cold feet and wound up saying no, reminding me that she was dating my friend, though she found me hot. After she declined, I told our other mutual friend, who suggested I should tell my original friend about the interaction, but I think only bad things can come out of that. So now I’m afraid my other friend will spill the beans. What should I do?
—Stuck In The Middle
Take the high road and don’t mention it. If you do, your best friend will probably think with his dick and thank you for the tip, but ignore it as a warning. Or, he may even think that you’re lying, trying to break them up—so you lose either way. You can’t win in this situation. Just smile, knowing she desires you. Find another hot babe and then you can all double date, maybe even make both your friend and that indecisive girl squirm. As for your blackmailing buddy, tell him you stand by your choice and he should shut his pie hole.
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