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CRIME BLOTTER

Knowing When to Fold ’Em

By Doug Black

It’s the mark of a wise criminal to know that when he’s been caught it’s best to avoid further trouble. Some overzealous miscreants, however, recently needed to learn this lesson the hard way. After getting drunk at an UWS bar and having a minor scuffle on his way out, Izzettin Saldiran foolishly decided to hop into his car and motor away while police watched. They quickly pulled him over and found him stinking of booze with a suspended license. Instead of immediately submitting to the authorities, he refused a Breathalyzer and offered a bribe of exactly $834 to let him slide. The cops turned down the proposal to which Saldiran, clearly missing the point, asked for a ride to an ATM so he could fork over even more cash. Needless to say, this fell on deaf ears. And for all his trouble, all Saldiran got in return was “bribery” added onto his laundry list of offenses.

And in Brooklyn, a man was busted trying to sneak out of a Rite Aid with $65 worth of baby formula stuffed into his jacket and pants. When employees caught 20-year-old Juan Laureano red-handed, his first response was to claim that he was going to pay for it. Next, he exploded into a temper tantrum, allegedly trying to punch and kick a few employees. The unfortunate result involved a shattered glass sliding door, police intervention and attempted assault charges.


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