While gun violence is becoming an omnipresent part of society, it’s nice to know that some criminals still rely on more rudimentary weapons. Last week, a 17-year-old boy was arrested for robbing a Bay Ridge Subway location after passing the cashier a note claiming he had a gun. Before the employee could respond, Abed Abed produced a hammer and slammed it into his arm. He then left with $380, but before he could use the money to purchase an actual gun, police tracked him down on account of a fingerprint left on his note.

And in Sunset Park, a Verizon employee attacked his coworker using a genuine tool of the trade. When Nicholas Caputo, 34, got into an argument with his coworker, he was sure to get the last word by beating him repeatedly over the head with a portable Verizon field-test phone. The victim suffered a broken nose and two black eyes, while Caputo was charged with assault, menacing and, amazingly, weapons possession. Next time he’ll hopefully leave the lethal contraption in its holster.