My fiancé says he is scared that he can’t have kids because his cum looks like water. What causes this, and will he be able to have kids? He has not had a sex drive since his ex gave his baby up for adoption. When we do have sexual intercourse, he only lasts five to 15 minutes.
—Quickie Queen
Sperm consistency always varies. Sperm is constantly being made. Even if he just shot his load, a new batch is already in the making, and you never know if it will be clear, cloudy, thin or chunky-style. Semen quality differs among individuals and can also change during different times in a man’s life. Older men usually make milky or pearly-white spunk, and if the guy doesn’t empty his balls regularly, it can turn a bit yellow and get really thick like clam (OMG!) chowder. A lot of factors go into the appearance and consistency of semen, including diet, exercise and ejaculation frequency. Changing any of these can alter the way your semen looks.
A nocturnal ejaculation may have more prostate fluid in it (which is whiter and thicker), while a daytime ejaculation may have more sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles, and tends to be clearer and less viscous. You say he already produced a child, so I would tell him not to worry about being impotent, and you say his sperm is very watery, so if he isn’t fucking you, he must be wanking a lot when you aren’t around. This may help him feel good and/or in control. If he is that afraid, he should go to the doctor and have it checked out, but I think it would be a waste of time and money and make an already tense, unfortunate situation become that much worse, hence killing his sex drive even more. Just avoid talking about it and give him some sexy back rubs while wearing some hot undies. Try to have him get you off before he even attempts one of those five-minute in-and-out escapades. Tsk Tsk!
Why is it I can only cum when I think about my husband having sex with his ex-girlfriends? Any details he has given me race through my head, and I act them out while fucking him. I’ve never told him as I am afraid he would think I am nuts. Am I?
—Pervy Pam
Wanting to love your partners’ past, right down to the juicy parts, is nothing to be ashamed or freaked out about. A lot of people have to let their mind wander while fucking to cum, as sometimes the here and now is either too much or too little. I think it means you are just very into his sexuality, and imagining him fucking other girls is a turn on. A few people I know have admitted to doing the same thing, just relax and enjoy your homemade, in-house porn.
Sometimes when I massage male clients they do obnoxious things that make me feel very awkward. For example, some point their penis south when they lay on their stomachs for me to massage their back and the back of their legs. I then have to look at their cock the whole time and this grosses me out. Another popular antic is some men lift their asses up off the table so they are almost kneeling. What the hell? This makes me so nervous, I am thinking of just massaging females from now on.
—Miss Massage
Simply say, “Please point your member north so I don’t accidentally graze it with my short fingernails.” That should do the trick. If they moan about it, insist you can’t concentrate and/or ask them to cover it with the sheet/towel and only work on one side at a time, keeping his jewels covered. You could be cheeky and say, “Look, it’s bad enough I have to see your balls squished onto my massage table, do me a favor and pack your meat up under your belly.” Humor helps in stiff situations. If they have their ass up in the air, it means their ass is an attention whore, so why let it down? Put one hand on top of your other and use full force to slam his ass down onto the table. He will get the message loud and clear without you even speaking. If he asks, tell him it’s the “slam dunk method.”
