I have been seeing someone for a year with whom I have many things in common, except I don’t smoke pot or do prescription drugs for pain and anxiety. He always makes me feel beautiful, respected and pursued; he always makes the calls and arranges the dates. But he has made it clear to me he doesn’t like to be confronted or be the target of expressed anger. One Saturday night we went out with his sister and her boyfriend to a music rave. He took a walk with the boyfriend and left me with his sister. When the boyfriend returned 15 minutes later, he was alone. My boyfriend had stayed behind in another part of the hotel watching some girl band singing and dancing. He was gone almost an hour, after which I found him. When he realized I was angry, he froze me out. I was hurt and angry the rest of the night. He didn’t call me for two weeks. Then we exchanged a few emails; he called on Easter and wanted to take me out on my birthday. I had plans, and I haven’t heard from him since. Should I let him go? I rarely confront him, but I can’t never get angry.
—Fed Up Franny
As nice as he may be, this ganja-smoking Peter Pan is lost in his own little Never-Never Land. He can’t behave anyway he wants and forbid any backlash. He is probably the youngest child or a spoiled only child who always got his way. I would ignore him and move on unless you want to walk on eggshells your whole life (exhausting!). If you really can’t live without this sensitive control freak, let him do all the work, all of the contacting and planning. Trying to turn a pot head/pill popper into a caring, thoughtful partner is an uphill battle. He sounds about as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house.
Why does it burn when my boyfriend cums in me?
—Burning Bush Kate
Think back—did all of your other lovers’ spunk burn you? If you have both been tested for STDs and are clean, this could be Mother Nature’s way of saying, “This guy is not the right one for you!” Smell and the way one makes you feel can really say a lot about a lover. “Love” should feel great, not painful like someone used a flamethrower on your snatch.
My girlfriend only wants to screw after lunch. In the morning, I wake up and am ready for a shag before breakfast, but she’s still a zombie. At night, she’s “too tired.” Only after lunch does she suddenly get really fucking horny, but I’m usually at work! Any tricks to turn her on in the early hours?
—Morning Muffin Man
Try to take a lunch break when she calls and is horny, run home, shag her, then go back to work with a shit-eating grin on your face. Saying no to a hungry pussy is just wrong. About her being “tired” at night, tell her, “Just let me do all the work honey, just lay there and let me fuck you.” Those words usually work like open sesame.
Is it gay for a guy to pee sitting down?
—Lazy Luke
Having dated a few European men, I can tell you that it’s rather popular over there. Maybe their wives have more effective ways of threatening them if they leave the seat up. Peeing while sitting down enables you to make sure you get all your piss in the bowl, takes the weight off your feet, requires less concentration, helps you avoid getting your face ripped off by females for leaving the seat up and gives you the option of an unplanned dump, should the need arise. What’s not to love? Why let a position define your sexuality? I say go for it; no one is supposed to see you do your business anyway. The only disadvantage is trying to stuff your morning stiffy down into the bowl.
