You need to chill. Men can smell insecurity, fear and doubt like a dog can smell another dog’s ass miles away. It’s natural for things to calm after a few months. The only way to keep things really spicy is to only see each other once a week, but then you can never really get closer. You’re hooked on that romantic high, that addictive butterfly effect that a fresh love has on everyone, but love never stays that intoxicating. Eventually, romance turns into familiarity; there is no way to avoid it. We would all like our lover to be mad about us, to imagine they only think of us when they wank, but that’s just bullshit; that only exists in romance flicks. You shouldn’t have freaked out. Less words and tantrums, more confidence and calm will prevent him from disappearing. Men need space, patience and, above all, less drama. Realize that you are worth hanging around for and try to feel so happy in your own shell, that even if you were alone, you would be fine. Men can sense that, and then feel free. Just like being alone in a room with a cat: If you close the door, the cat will want out. If you leave the door a bit open, he will sit on your lap and pine for your attention.

For some reason, men love to know the exact details when they catch their woman cheating (seen the movie Closer yet?). But it’s best not to give him the details, because if he does forgive you—and it sounds like he will (if he was really done with you, you wouldn’t have heard back from him)—then he will always have that scene running through his mind. Just write him an email or text and tell him you were drunk, missed him and that you regret it with every bone in your body; you are sorry. That’s all you can do. Giving him a gift or apologizing too much just makes you look even guiltier. You didn’t love this guy you fucked around with; it was just a physical thing, so it shouldn’t get blown out of proportion. It’s not like you were seeing him for months and fell in love; it was just a tryst. Men understand these things, as they can usually separate love and lust. Tell him going into details is difficult as you were so drunk and you don’t even want to relive such a mistake. Assure him it won’t happen again and sit back, be patient and give him some space to think. Let him make the first move! Otherwise you will appear desperate, and it will remind him that you are feeling guilty—not good. Ease your mind by knowing life will go on and what’s meant to be will be.