By Dr. Dot
drdot@drdot.com
www.puredrdot.com

I was in a relationship with a wonderful guy for 10 months. I lost my virginity to him. Then, after about nine months, we started fighting really bad about stupid stuff and one of us would take off, then end up saying sorry. But one day, I got tired of it and broke it off. Now I regret it because I love him so much, even after a year apart. I tried dating other people, but it’s not the same. He still gets very jealous when I date others and bothers me about what (and who) I’m doing. We were screwing even after we split, but I couldn’t handle having sex but not being together. I think he still loves me, but I’m not sure. We’ve talked about dating again but, as soon as we argue, he backs off. How do I know if he still has feelings for me?
—Doormat Dana


You shouldn’t have to wonder, it should be obvious. Don’t fall for the popular trap of equating jealousy for love. Just because a partner is very jealous, doesn’t mean they “love you so much.” Jealousy is more of a power game than anything else. If he calls, emails, texts you often and makes a big effort to see you and asks about when you two can get back together, then he’s the right man. Well, maybe not Mr. Right, but maybe Mr. Right Now. If he only wants to get together for sex and you want more than a fuck buddy, forget him. Find out where the root of your petty fights are coming from and try to solve that problem before you even think about getting back together. It could be you just feel comfortable with him rather than true love, because if you two were meant to be together, it would be easy—not difficult and annoying.


I’m a man entering into a new relationship, and I want it to be successful. I mean, I don’t want to be taken advantage of and used as a punching bag by the woman I’m seeing, like I have been in most of my past relationships. I don’t know how it happens. It starts out as me wanting to be considerate and caring, then it quickly turns into a real-life version of that old cartoon when the guy always says, “Yes dear” to every demand given by his bigger wife. So I wanted to know from you: When does being considerate and caring cross over into being a wimp?
—Whipping Post Pete


This can happen to anyone who is overly kind/generous in the beginning of a relationship. Yes, it’s standard to put our best foot forward to lure that certain someone into bed or a relationship, but being too agreeable is too much work, misleading and it can turn your partner into a monster if you treat them too nice (just like spoiling a child/pet). Don’t go to movies you know you will loathe, eat food you really don’t like or get pushed into any social situation that sounds irritating to you (i.e.: meeting her family too soon, vacationing together too soon, double-dating or even lending/spending too much money on her too soon).  This kind of wishy-washy behavior is what gives off the “hit me, I’m a punching bag” vibe. You have to show your limits with a smile on your face when you first start dating someone. Both partners need to discover and respect personal boundaries before things evolve. Be aware of her reactions when you pay for dinner or massage her feet. Find out as soon as possible if this is a grateful woman or a bitchy sponge. Be yourself no matter what and, as soon as your partner crosses the line, speak up firmly but politely. The majority of women really don’t want a man they can walk all over. No need to be a raging prick either, just confident enough to show her what you like and dislike. Show her you adore her but won’t crumble without her. If you are too scared (or wimpy) to confront a woman to her face about something that is really pissing you off, write it down and email your point across. Sometimes, the more you give, the more they take, so love, but do so cautiously. 


I’m 18 and have been having a fantastic sex life for the past year and a half. I have the highest sex drive of any woman I know and ridiculously easy orgasms. But, for some unknown reason, things are changing. I’m in a stable relationship with great sex. My guy always has, and continues, to turn me on, and we have lots of foreplay. For the past couple of weeks, however, I haven’t been getting wet. We’ve been using lube as an easy solution, but it’s not getting to the root of the problem. I had a check-up, and I am disease- free. Do you know of any solutions or reasons for the problem? Could it be my BC pill?
—Formerly Known as Wet & Wild


The pill pisses on a woman’s sex drive parade. It coaxes your body into thinking it’s already pregnant due to the hormones in it and, as we all know, pregnant women aren’t always in the mood for sex. Dealing with a dry snatch, feeling clingy and as bloated as a gassy floatation device are all symptoms of being pregnant and being on the pill. Maybe you could look into trying the “ring,” which is inserted every month in your love canal. Then the hormones are only local, not throughout your whole body. Look up “Nuvaring.” It could also be that you and your freshman pussy are growing bored with your boyfriend. Most people have a tiny attention span at the age of 18. Lord knows I do. I mean, I did.