By Dr. Dot
drdot@drdot.com
www.puredrdot.com

I am about to propose to the love of my life. Her brother recently died in Iraq. I wonder if I should propose soon—and that will give her some happiness to take away the pain—or should I wait till everything has settled. I would marry her Monday if I could, but I just want to get it right for her.
—Mr. Right


I would wait a couple of weeks, maybe even a month until after the funeral, and then propose to her. You don’t want your wedding anniversary to be too close to his death date. If you do it too soon, she could think of it as just a romantic pity party. If you wait too long, she could close her heart to love all together and need a long time to completely open it again.


My girlfriend is from Poland, and I went over there to see her. We met at the airport and had a four-hour journey back to her place; it was 7 a.m.! I was so tired, but she said, “Let’s do it. Do you have condom?”
Well, I did but I was feeling so tired, I just didn’t want to. You know, because I’d have been shit. So we didn’t, and we didn’t have another opportunity. Anyway, I got back home, and she ended it by text message about a month later. That got me thinking: I loved her, maybe if I did make love to her on that occasion our relationship would’ve lasted longer. Looking back, I kinda feel guilty over it. I am dumbfounded and gutted.
—Mr. Pitiful


I’ve had men visit me in the past from far away, and I knew for sure they would fall fast asleep due to the journey. So I let them be. I expect the same when I visit someone. There should be some sort of sexual travel leeway period, an unofficial “leave me alone for 24 hours please” phase. I think she just used that pathetic excuse to dump you. If someone dumps you for that, they aren’t even worth thinking about anymore. Be grateful you’re rid of that impatient wench.


Please cough up some advice for me ASAP. I have seriously not told anyone what I’m about to tell you, but this issue is getting too big for me to ignore. Basically, my problem is that I’m in a serious relationship with a sweet but somewhat insecure man. He is extremely concerned with making me happy in bed, and after some awkward attempts at the beginning of our relationship, he worked really hard to find out what I liked and is now able to satisfy me nine times out of 10. So it’s not out of sexual frustration that I’ve started having fantasies about women more and more recently. It’s something I’ve always done from time to time, but now, for the first time, I feel like I might want to put it into practice.
I really want to involve my boyfriend in this—at least tell him how I’ve been feeling—but there’s a problem: His last girlfriend left him for a woman, and he’s very touchy on the subject of girl-on-girl. He’s not against lesbians by any means, but he gets visibly uncomfortable whenever the subject comes up, changing the topic of conversation—even changing the channel when two women get friendly on TV. I care about him so much, and I'm afraid my desires will chase him away. I don’t know what to do. Can you help?
—Potentially Bi in Harlem


I would love to know if these lesbo fantasies started before or after you found out about his ex dumping him for a dyke. Be honest and think back: If you started lusting after women after he told you this, it’s simple; you are playing with the forbidden fire. You know it’s taboo and now crave it madly. If not, and you have always wanted to taste the bearded clam—but also want to keep your man—you should just do this on your own time, without telling him, since it’s obviously not going to work. Give the guy a break. Put yourself in his shoes. At all cost, try your best to hide all evidence of your lesbian adventures. Asking him will only make him more insecure and jealous, and you may end up losing him completely.


I am a proud lady who masturbates on a daily basis. My technique has become refined in the most recent years and lately I have noticed something: When I have a very good, strong orgasm, my hearing is somewhat diminished. Similar to when your ears start to go towards popping when going up an elevator. Five minutes later, my hearing is back to normal. Is this because the blood is rushing from my ears to my vagina?
—Alotta Vagina


Good news is, it is fairly normal. Bad news is, I'm gonna have to get all medical on you, so take a deep breath and read on. The ear popping is due to excessive dopamine-adrenalin conversion during orgasm while your tissue and nerves in and around your ear lack relaxin/elastin Prostaglandin—which is needed to withhold the orgasmic contraction due to a sequence of adrenalin surges during or after orgasm.
Your auditory nerve is suddenly compressed by the tissue contraction and suffers from the interruption of nutritional supply due to a sudden contraction of the arteries. This results in nervous numbness. It can happen in your face, ears, nose, eyes, hands, legs, pelvic area or even your whole body. Whew. Who needs to hear anything after they climax? I think its mother nature’s way of shutting everything else out so you can just savor the spectacular moments during and after your orgasm.