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There are bigger rocks to turn, bigger bugs to find.

VANITY FAIR chief Graydon Carter has, in my opinion, turned a little nutty in the past two years, with the usual throwaway editor's note becoming home to Noam Chomsky-like screeds about the Bush administration, but he's not a crook. Not that the...

DATE: June 01, 2004 | CATEGORY: News

Farm Report Repo

There was a time when America was a sturdy nation of yeoman farmers, when giants like Jefferson and Thoreau bestrode the East Coast like intellectual colossi. That time is past, and now we are a sort of dirty imitation of contemporary Denmark, in...

DATE: January 14, 2003 | CATEGORY: News

Farm Report

Railroad, PA ? "Skinny models: you can keep those. I like big cornfed Midwestern ho's." With those historic words, Kid Rock in 2001 became the first white man to repudiate skinny women, and thus he redeemed innumerable babes from the clutches of...

DATE: July 16, 2002 | CATEGORY: News

Farm Report Rural Thrash

Railroad, PA ? Just because we're hoeing, planting and hauling ass out here on Whoa-O-Rama Farm this time of year don't mean we're not listening to music. In fact, I'm one of the first Amish farmers to install a 16-speaker system down on the...

DATE: June 04, 2002 | CATEGORY: News

Kramer's Just Too Too; MUGGER Es Loco, Except About Beisbol; Sloppy Readers Blast Seitz; Willis Captured a True It Girl; More

In Mimi Kramer's review of the recent Oklahoma! revival ("Theater," 4/3), she writes that one of the actors is "much, much too gay."Can you actually stand by and let this kind of bigotry take place at your publication? Would you allow Ms.

DATE: April 16, 2002 | CATEGORY: News

Southern Rock Farm Report

Railroad, PA ? When yankees like you asked me about the Southern thing, I used to send y'all to Faulkner and Hank. But those guys are getting kind of...old: like half a century.But now I've got something that explains the whole deal...

DATE: March 19, 2002 | CATEGORY: News

Homeland Security Farm Report: Real Americans Listen to Hardcore Country

Glen Rock, PA ? Many "Farm Report" readers have asked me: Farmer Crispy, what are your views on the pressing issue of homeland security?Bitch, it's morning again in America. Everyone's flying Old Glory. Arab men are being randomly...

DATE: December 18, 2001 | CATEGORY: News

Farm Report: Of War and Freud

Glen Rock, PA ? You may recall that last time, which seems like decades ago, I expressed myself sick of country music, at least the Nashville variety. But now I am affirming America: our glorious schlockiness, our commercialism, even the perfect...

DATE: October 30, 2001 | CATEGORY: News

Farm Report Wabi-Sabi

Glen Rock, PA ? When I started this gig a couple of years ago, I was but a simple farmer. I worked the land as my pappy did before me, and my great joy was to tool around the county in my old truck at 6 mph, listening to the country station.

DATE: August 28, 2001 | CATEGORY: News

Irie Farm Report: My Haile Selassie Shirt and Stars 'n' Bars Cap Keeps 'Em Guessing at the Feed Store

Glen Rock, PA ? Rebellion is almost enough. I just got back from Jamaica, and since the return my outfit has been a green, red and gold shirt depicting Haile Selassie (the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords) and a gray Confederate States of...

DATE: August 07, 2001 | CATEGORY: News

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