What do you do about a summer girlfriend? I had been hung up on one woman when I met this much younger woman (she's 20, I'm 34). It was fun, and I figured it would be a rebound thing to help get me over the first girl and that would be that. She goes back to college in Ohio next week.

The problem is, I started to really like her. She's smart, beautiful and surprisingly mature for her age. I find that I'm really torn up about her leaving. I think the reason is, these summer relationships are microcosms of perfect relationships because you let your guard down because it's a safe environment. Like vacation sex with someone you're never going to see again.

I'm wondering, do long-distance relationships really work? It seems like the whole point of a relationship is to relate, to be together. Maybe if we were two people who had an established relationship it could work. The painful part of this is we're not breaking up. It's not like she cheated on me or we didn't get along; none of the normal things that make you stop seeing someone happen with this kind of thing. It's only location that'll separate us, so the heart doesn't get proper closure. I know I just have to let it go, but I don't want to. But I guess I have to. Here's another problemher birthday is in a few weeks, but she'll be gone by then. Do I give her a present now?

Tim

Rule #1: When wondering whether or not to buy a lady a present, don't dither, just buy. Chicks dig presents. Unless said gift is either disproportionately expensive given the amount of time you've known each other (a Mazda Miata before you've seen her naked), creepily stalker-like (a personal tracking device), hideously ugly (brown corduroy anything) or overtly useful (a Swiffer).

But you didn't ask for gift suggestions, did you? You want to know how to cope as your sweet summer romance with a scandalously younger woman winds down.

I know that Sandy and Danny, the protagonists in the Finest Summer Romance Movie of All Time (Grease, natch!), thought they were parting after a three-month fling, but were then shocked to find themselves classmates come the first day of classes at Rydell High. Sure, there were some complications along the way (Sandy had to morph into a tramp to keep her man), but ultimately love triumphed. However, unless you're planning on relocating to Ohio and becoming the world's oldest college freshman, the chances of you finding yourself sitting next to your girlie in Intro to Existentialism are fairly slim.

My all-time best summer fling was with a pink-haired, skirt-wearing Aussie named Richard, whom I picked up at Danceteria one drunken evening. Ah, the 80s. Our love was like a new-wave song. I was hanging out with girlfriends and saw him standing across the room. "See that guyI'm going to get him," I announced to my pals in a fit of completely uncharacteristic bravado, most likely brought on by several dozen colorful cocktails. I sauntered across the floor, my foot-high mohawk parting the sea of people like I was some kind of human/shark hybrid.

I forget the undoubtedly brilliant line I used, but he wound up buying me a drink. (Because at that point, I really needed another beverage. Nothing like a sloppy drunk teenage girl who thinks she's the shit.) Richard was sweet and seemed very taken by the altitude my hair was rocking. Incredibly, we ended up dating.

On our first official date Richard lamented that up till meeting me, he had been having a crap time in New York, and now that he was finally having fun he had to leave in just two days' time. I was having none of that. Somehow I convinced him to extend his sublet, max out all his credit cards and stay until the day his visa ran out. FYI, I am decidedly not one of those girls who has ever been able to convince a man to do her bidding, so this was quite shocking to me.

We were literally such a colorful couple that everywhere we went, people snapped our picture. We'd be beckoned in through throngs of waiting people in front of clubs, and promoters shoved drink tickets at us. It was like being J-Lo for a couple months (except without the fine booty or any of the bling).

Looking back, I'm thinking Richard was probably more smitten by the attention we garnered than my winning personality and/or perky teenage titties, but I'm not going to let that mar my memories. By the time he had to ship off back to Australia, I was seriously smitten. I pined over him. I cried. I wrote him embarrassing long letters, full of declarations of love and longing. We even spoke on the phone once or twice.

I missed him so much, I thought I would die. Obviously, I didn't die. Instead, I met someone else. This new guy was cute and funny. Oh, and AWOL from the Navy. He wound up in the brig, but that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is, yes, it's sad that your youngster is going away to school. But the heart is a resilient organ, and classes at NYU start September 2. o