Actually, it seemed like a better idea when I dreamed it up as a distraction from Jeff Koyen telling us yet another story about his trip to Atlantic City. The big idea is that somebody appears draped in New York Press garb and looking for trouble. After all, we've been assured by no less a rock casualty than Punk's John Holmstrom that angry Ramones fans have organized to put New York Press out of business.
Next week, Br'er Fox will petition to have us thrown in a briar patch.
The night's sacrifice would've been an intern had I known that Sonic Youth was opening the show. They start with an indulgent rave-up that represents everything the Ramones set out to destroy. To be fair, SY then concentrate on their more structured work. This means more attempts at rewriting Wire and Patti Smith while wearing a Sun Ra t-shirt. The sell-out of Goo may be their best album, but it's embarrassing to see Kim Gordon doing "Kool Thing" at this stage in her life. Ex-girl, indeed.
Plus, the room's too dark for anyone to see my cool outfit. I head back to the bright lights of a display of Ramones memorabilia. You're probably wondering how we can be sure those syringes just didn't wash up on Coney Island. Well, you should feel bad for wondering that. Instead, we've got glass cases full of leather gloves and sunglasses—and even copies of Punk magazine!
There are some pretty cool Johnny Ramone items. It's a shame he didn't get to enjoy more of his retirement. It's also a shame that the story hasn't gotten out about how he scored all the cash. Anyway, here's some token Ramones hyperbole that's also true: The Ramones are the only classic punk act whose every album is worth owning.
The night's tribute to the Ramones is impressive, too. Assorted guests appear before a trio consisting of All drummer Bill Stevenson, C.J. Ramone and producer Daniel Rey—who was probably himself the Ramones more than anyone would care to admit. Let's give special credit to C.J. for opening the set by finishing off a cigarette. It's also nice to see Tommy Ramone, currently hiding from the Grim Reaper by trying to pass as a member of Steely Dan.
Our beatdown is less impressive. Nothing comes from flying our colors, even though I make it a point to hang out by the VIP area where Holmstrom spends the evening. Honestly, what was I thinking? There's a better chance of LeRoy Neiman rallying fans to shut us down over our Olympics coverage. o
