450 WHITE PEOPLE AGREE If you've paid attention to music magazines over the past few years, it seems the overpaid editors of these tastemaking publications have nothing to report but lists. Likeohmygod! What does Sia Michel over at Spin think are the top 50 most rocking moments in 80s hair metal? What do Joe Levy and his dusted publication think are the 500 top songs of all time? (Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone" is numero uno. But of course.) And then there's Blender. Does anyone really care what those frat dudes have to say? Their list should be: 50 photogenic musicians—plus Bono—tell you why to bother picking up this piece of shit.
I'm cranky. And maybe getting old. But how many more times can I be told that Kurt Cobain saved the world? Or that U2's new album is a sonic prayer that will redeem us? I've learned a lot about music from penning this column, collecting records, talking to DJs and listening to radio. If you listen to a lot of music, you know the editors at these magazines are only trying to perpetuate the canon of white-boy rock 'n' roll. A few weeks back, Kelefa Sanneh, the pop music critic for the New York Times, called these rhythm-challenged media savants "rockists." You know the rockist: the pretentious indie snob who believes only white rebellious men with an important message make good music. The one who denies himself the pleasure of listening to a Puffy and Mase record. For what? "Because, dude, it's so fake." And Jeff Tweedy is real?
This latest issue of Rolling Stone, with its top 500 songs of all time, is a confirmation of yuppie tastes. Yes, we all love the Beatles, the Stones and the Beach Boys. But are you really going to tell me Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Prince or James Brown don't get a mention until we're into the 50s? The next issue can only be this: "Jimmy Page Discusses How He Invented the Blues."
Rolling Stone is a once-counterculture mag that makes appeals to older, white, middle-class consumers. Mel Cheren, the owner of the small New York City record label West End, once said to me, "There's only two types of music: good and bad." At Rolling Stone, it's obviously still black and white. o
