Those puppets are probably the first step in a slippery slope that leads to giant puppets protesting budget cuts that keep public schools from purchasing, say, hand puppets. Oh, well. Displays like this are what make the Toy Fair fun. All the major players are here, but there are plenty of entrepreneurs looking for that one big purchase order from a national chain.
Or maybe they're hoping for some government official desperate to meet tolerance standards. That's the only rationale for the re-educational fun of the "Our Family" board game. The board is really a pink triangle, and you climb it by knowing gay trivia and avoiding intolerant acts. It's tricky, though. A teenage boy can lose five points just by being turned off after discovering that a pretty girl he's romancing actually has a hairy chest.
There's also cheap laffs in the convention's inherent junkiness. Consider the Pro-Glo extension cords that come in wild neon colors. Dude, these outlets are extreme! There's also the plastic sleeve that constitutes the TV Guide Jacket. We can now redefine white trash as anyone who has to put slipcovers over their reading materials.
The Toy Fair does much to sum up our decline and fall. There's a constant proliferation of board games such as "Would You Rather…?" and "If You Had to Choose…?" and other board games for social cripples incapable of honest conversation. And there'll always be plenty of new Simpsons, Family Guy and Nightmare Before Christmas crap to keep hipsters from giving any real consideration to birthday and holiday presents.
To be fair, there's a lot to enjoy. Fear Factor candy is an overdue idea. Pizza Box Football also looks ingenious. "The most challenging Dot-to-Dots ever created" seem like fun. And if you check out the Japanese distributors over in their own section, you'll find some nice realistic toy guns.
It's enough to get someone excited over Christmas. This coming summer looks a lot more dire. The Fantastic Four and Batman Begins merchandising is plainly uninspired. I already own Hulk Hands, so who needs Thing Hands and Feet? And you don't even want to think about how bad Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is going to be. Trust me. I've seen the board game.
