We heart porn as feminism.

SuicideGirls refuses to give up the ghost, as seen by their recent desperate measures and ineffective panaceas. The story, for those coming late to it, is that the site, which had made its name on being a female-friendly place at which to look at naked chicks is—stunningly—anything but.

The latest boondoggle centers on Stormy, formerly one of most popular models, and an e-mail she received from Missy intended for former and current SGs. In it, she asks Stormy and other models to denounce the recent stories—that owner Sean Suhl is a scumfuck, that their lawyers shake down the girls who leave and that nominal site founder Missy Suicide is a powerless figurehead. You can't get less femi-porny than that.

In the meantime, the girls have been launching a counter-offensive. First, the site bizarrely claimed that the Bush administration had left them no choice but to remove much of their (entirely softcore) content. And now, the SuicideGirls are taking on us, holding up a copy of New York Press with my cover story about SG with "We 'heart' Sean" written over the cover in big letters. And if "The Girls Next Door" has taught us anything, it's that if you can't believe paid members of a publicity tour for a porn site that claims to be empowering when they say they 'heart' their boss, who can you trust?

Missy, step up and speak for yourself. Stop asking your underpaid naked chicks to do your dirty work. Three hundred dollars a shoot (and then lawyers claiming that they own all pictures of you anyone might take for forever) just ain't gonna buy that much love. If you can't back up your own claims or refute our accusations, then why be surprised when no one believes you?

Quit being some man's bitch. Take responsibility and, if I may, either act with decency or start taking the site's name a little more literally.