Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
To your eternal dismay, some people actively seek conflict. They desire it. Instead of working on finding a solution to a potentially difficult situation or being willing to compromise, they attempt to escalate it. Don’t try to understand why, because you probably never will. Maybe they’re bored, angry, or just plain screwed up. When you encounter these kinds of people this week—as you’re quite likely to—don’t expect them to be the least bit reasonable. They’re trying to get a rise out of you. Logic won’t settle this; nor will duking it out. There’s only one real option: walking away.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You’d never expect a self-respecting Scorpio to be one half of those couples who sport matching outfits, spout baby-talk at one another or act pathetically codependent. (Obsessive, maybe, but not pathetic.) Self-imposed restrictions like these are good, but they can be taken too far, such as when they keep you from engaging in other romantic behavior that should come naturally to Scorpios—making out (or screwing) in public, spreading the love (rather than hogging it all yourselves) or exciting and indulging your sense of adventure. Is it possible you’re limiting yourself unduly? If so, remedy that this week. Do something fun, sexy and potentially embarrassing as soon as possible.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Surround an abandoned building with barbed wire, mount “keep out” signs to its doors and windows and post a guard. It doesn’t matter. If the place interests a Sagittarius, nothing will keep him or her from exploring it. I respect that your healthy sense of adventure extends to people as well; you’re quite willing to ignore walls and warnings from them if something in their personality intrigues you. But please remember that people aren’t derelict buildings ripe for pillaging. If you venture into someone’s forbidden territory, remember this karmic rule: Leave things in better condition than you found them. Succeed in that, and you may even be invited back.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Some people wear their self-definitions so obviously that they invite easy categorization. “Oh, s/he’s a ______.” Fill in the blank: frat boy, dyke, businessman, artist, philosophy student, priest, etc. These people are never Capricorns. Anyone who tries to shove you in a box and keep you there is in for a shock. You’re likely to not only transcend the definition they’ve slapped on you, but to completely contradict it. You should encourage people to take you as you are, not as they imagine you to be. Here’s how: return the favor. No matter how one-dimensional people seem, please expect more. You may be disappointed, but at least you’ve given them the chance, which is all they should need.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
One type of lily pad is so effective at covering the surface of the ponds it inhabits that it chokes out all other aquatic plant life by depriving them of sunlight. Sometimes Aquarians are a bit like that—so good at what you do that “lesser” talents never get a chance to shine. But is your way really the best way? Is there a possibility that someone else’s less strictly efficient or effective way might be more interesting, fruitful or fun in the long run? Try it. If someone else offers to step up this week, you should back down, let them and—this is key—support them.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Even though you’re actually better at coping with and rolling with the unknown than virtually anyone else, you also sometimes fear it more than the rest of us. Your innate flexibility, original viewpoint and creativity make you ideally suited to thrive in chaos and disorder, yet you allow yourself to experience so much anxiety about it. Why? The truth is you usually blossom under those conditions and wither in safer situations that are more controlled. I hope my unbiased observation can help you feel more at ease when surfing life’s uncontrolled messiness: You’re good at this shit. When chaos comes your way, don’t fear it. Enjoy it.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Forget all this astrology bullshit. Ignore the fact that you’re supposed to get along well with Leos and Sagittarians and not with Taureans. In fact, try to forget every kind of preconceived notion about the kind of person you are and the type of person you usually like. It’s all meaningless, especially this week. Instead, try to simply be open and pay attention to what naturally happens between you and whomever else. Drop the agenda as much as you can and allow things to unfold naturally. This is hard, I know, but once you let go of your silly ideas about how things are supposed to be, it’ll get easier. It might even be fun.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You’re like a spider with prime real estate around a light, near a pond. It’s criminally easy to get fat here, what with curious bugs wandering into your web faster than you could ever consume them. You’ve even started to get picky, only acknowledging and eating certain kinds of insects, and totally ignoring the others. Bad move. You may have more than you can handle now, but that can’t last forever. What if the light bulb attracting all your easy prey burns out? Then where will you cart your swollen, spoiled ass? Enjoy the plenty you have now (instead of taking it for granted) while admitting, finally, that it probably won’t last forever.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Making the transition from theory to practice is often a difficult leap. Ask any martial artist; practicing the moves against your peers, whose actions you can predict and know how to counter, is a far cry from fending off real attackers on the street, who are unpredictable and fight dirty. Nevertheless, figuring out how to apply the knowledge you’ve acquired in a semi-artificial environment out in the real world is this week’s primary objective. If you encounter a setback, don’t give up and conclude that your wisdom is actually worthless. You just haven’t hit upon the right application for it. Hint: It’s probably one you’d never expect.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
You’re lucky. You asked for a little vacation from life’s strife and struggle and you got one. This week and next week should be relatively easy to handle. What’s more, next week’s balanced New Moon in Libra gives you the perfect opportunity to set up your next chapter so that its challenges come in a more distributed way, instead of the periodic chaotic surges of overwhelming crap you’ve so often experienced this past year. Make the right plan regarding how you’ll assess and react to life’s inevitable challenges, and your feast-or-famine days could actually be over.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
This week you’re likely to allow yourself to do something you rarely give yourself permission to do. It’s these self-imposed limitations that are the worst because you rarely challenge them or attempt to surmount or transcend them, as you would boundaries forced upon you by someone else. Luckily this week’s astrological influences are ideally suited to help you ignore the rules you’ve concocted for yourself and try something new (or something you haven’t tried in a long while). You’ll also probably experience some form of success (as well as fun) while doing it, which I’m hoping will encourage you to break that rule more often or, better yet, to throw it out completely.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Virgos don’t usually have time for artificiality. That’s one of the things I love about you: what I see is (mostly) what I get. It’s refreshing, when so many people are trying to puff themselves up. You just can’t be bothered, most of the time. This week, however, you’re likely to experience a bit of pressure to hide or distort what and who you are. But I hope you resist. Remember, whatever illusion you dream up will be impossible to maintain over the long term and will ultimately keep you from being yourself and doing what you do best. You might impress someone in the short-run, but will only to disappoint them later. And what, I ask, is the point of that?
