I’ve done a lot of wild things in my life, but one thing I’ve never experienced is a threesome with two guys. The closest I came to having two men ravish me at once was several years ago, when my ex-boyfriend’s friend showed an interest in me. My boyfriend knew I had a crush on his friend. It didn’t bother him; actually, he was vaguely titillated, and we even discussed the possibility of a menage a trois. “I’d like to have a Mike sandwich,” I told him.
“Oh yeah? Double team?” he said with a smirk. I fantasized frequently about the two Mikes sucking on my tits, one mouth on each nipple, while their hands wandered over my body. With my eyes closed, lips and appendages would lose their identity in a mass of multiple sensations.
One night, the three of us were hanging out in my boyfriend’s apartment, and the two Mikes started talking about baseball. The triangular chemistry was so intense that I blurted, “Double team, anyone?” The temperature rose. Looks were exchanged. The opportunity presented itself … but nothing happened.
Although I never got my Mike sandwich, the possibility piqued my curiosity about having sex with two men. Since then, I’ve been in group sex situations involving more than one man, but the men never touched each other. They were always focused on the women, either in the context of several male-female couples fucking or voyeuristic situations, like the time my girlfriend and I put on a sexy show for our boyfriends. It’s no revelation that most male-female threesomes are female-centric. Men are biologically and culturally programmed to focus their sexual attention on women, even if they are bi-curious. It would take two bi men or extremely open hetero-flexible dudes to make a MFM threesome a true triad. Those guys are elusive in a world where female bisexuality is not only more prevalent, but more acceptable.
Despite this elusiveness, women seem to fantasize about two guys almost as much as men obsess over two girls. But these women are often just as female-centric as their male counterparts: They want to be served as the highest point of the triangle. Liz is a bisexual woman who frequently fantasizes about being with two guys. “It all started one summer when I began to notice, here and there, women who were hanging out alone with two or more men … It excited me to think that the relationship between the guys and these women were sexual ones, with the women being the focus.” Tess, a New York-based psychologist, finds the thought or experience of two men attending to her, positively decadent. “[It’s] like having dessert before dinner—or for dinner. Like there’s no way I couldbe expected to reciprocate evenhalf of what I receive in that scenario, so it’s all aboutreceivinga lot of stimulation.If one man is ahot bath, two is an aromatherapy bubble bath with candles and a glass of wine.”
Tobi agrees: “In terms of two men ravaging my body, well, that’s the ultimate in being pampered, and who doesn’t like pampering?”
The two-guy fantasy is exponential, rooted in the double pleasure the woman receives from the men, rather than the novelty of seeing two men please each other. Would it make a difference if male bisexuality were more common? Probably not—just because many women aren’t aroused by the sexual interaction between two men. Some even consider it to be a turn-off. Tess says, “Initially the idea of them attending to each other at all was kind of a turn off. That’s no longer the case, largely because I’ve since hadsome experience. But I still don’t fantasize at all about watching, and when I’ve actually watched two men, I’ve found myself more in the mindset of taking mental notes on things like technique than feeling aroused.”
For a long time, the idea of two men having sex left me unmoved. Then I saw Brokeback Mountain, which made me realize that passion and emotion turn me on more than anything else—when those elements are present, sexual configuration loses importance. Generally, women find two men making passionate love more arousing than a male porn star pumping mechanically into a woman whose moans seem to be directly related to her paycheck. “There is something very sensual about the build up in the Brokeback Mountain version,” says Tobi. “That interests me more than guys hitting on anything with a heartbeat at gay clubs.I guess, for me it is similar in hetero relationships, the psychological connection is the turn-on.”
Psychology aside, will I ever be the meat in a manwich? Although it’s no longer one of my top fantasies, I’d rather not die without experiencing it at least once. Recently, I learned that Mike #2 is bi, but that information is as inconsequential now as it was then; my ex-boyfriend was more bemused than aroused at the prospect of being one slice of bread away from his naked friend. Fulfilling the double team fantasy is a challenge. No matter how close a woman is to two cocks, the possibility can wilt like an erect penis under the influence of an athletic thought.
