The Silence of the Lambs may be one of the most hilarious films ever made. The purportedly haunting tale of a dysphonic serial killer, the poodle he loves and the plus-sized women he keeps in a giant pit in his basement, is a cultural touchstone of unintentional comedy. Consider Hannibal Lecter’s grandiloquent verbal harangues regarding Agent Starling’s rural origins, tongue-swallowing Multiple Miggs, Buffalo Bill’s unique use of the third person, the lotion, the basket, Jodie Foster, etc. The ridiculous elements of the (post-Manhunter) Thomas Harris film adaptations have made them fodder for reference on “South Park,” and have spawned at least one satirical musical. (this means that I’m not alone in finding this shit funny, which is comforting.) The newest film in the franchise, pre-prequel Hannibal Rising offers an account of Lecter’s origins as believable as if it was revealed that he was actually from outer space, and with the dialogue of a latter day Steven Seagal feature. Probably the death toll of the Harris cash-cow, Hannibal Rising nonetheless gives us an opportunity to look back at a few scenes so over-the-top they couldn’t help but make us laugh.
Silence of the Lambs “The Infamous Tuck”—The controversial image of Buffalo Bill dressed up as a woman, wearing a disembodied human scalp, and dancing around with his wang tucked between his legs is a hallmark of mainstream cinematic weirdness. Bill poses the question, “would you fuck me?” to himself in the mirror, then answers affirmatively, “I’d fuck me so hard.” (On TV, this line is often censored as “I’d have me so hard,” creating an equally quotable and amusing non-sequitur.) Buffalo Bill was (like 90 percent of all on-screen serial killers) based in part on real life human skin-wearer Ed Gein. Ed Gein could not possibly have been this weird.
Red Dragon “Ralph Fiennes Eats an Ancient Painting”—Francis “Red Dragon” Dolarhyde (Fiennes) pays a visit to the museum to look at a 200-year-old print of the deity with which he so strongly identifies. In a transubstantial act of the most ridiculous variety, he rips up the picture and starts jamming it in his mouth. A museum employee walks in, Dolarhyde snarls—mouth still full of paper—and starts towards her. Every time I watch this, it seems like an appropriate time for a museum-wide chase scene with “Yakity Sax” as the soundtrack. It never happens that way, though.
Red Dragon “Philip Seymour Hoffman as Captive, Fireball”—One moment, Hoffman as sniveling, slovenly journalist Freddy Lounds is super-glued to an antique wheelchair, witnessing the crypto-religious ramblings, murderous slideshows and naked, tattooed ass of Red Dragon. In the next scene, a parking attendant sees Lounds hurtling down the street engulfed in truly massive ball of flames. Parking attendant is shocked, to say the least.
Silence of the Lambs “The Question of if She is a Great Big Fat Person, Answered.”—When Clarice Starling (Foster) happens unknowingly upon Jame Gumb, she doesn’t know he’s a murderer with a secret basement and an industrial strength doorbell. She asks if he’s seen the kidnapped Catherine Martin, and he replies with those immortal words, “Was she a great big fat person?” Starling assures him that she was indeed a big girl, and the question of if she was a great big fat person is answered. Of course he knows that she was a great big fat person, because before Starling arrived, he was mocking said fat person’s cries for help while yanking on the nipples of his shirt. The “ISAGBFP?” is what Vaudeville would have been like if it had an undercurrent of depraved violence.
Hannibal “Ray Liotta Eats His Own Brain”—Agent Starling (Julianne Moore) finds herself at Lecter’s dinner table, and sees her professional nemesis Paul Krendler (Liotta) sitting across the table from her. In a scene pulled from the mind of a slightly disturbed yet inventive fourth grader, Lecter pops off Krendler’s skull, slices off a chunk of his frontal lobe, and feeds it to him. Krendler predictably gets all drooly and baboon-ish. Next thing you know, Lecter is on a plane offering a slice of Liotta brain to an interested young boy, spreading discriminating taste (and possibly Kuru) to a whole new generation.
