WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29
(COMEDY)
GROWING PAINS
In their two-woman show Asbestos for Breakfast: Tales of Surviving Childhood, Eileen Kelly takes you on a jaunt through memory lane to a simpler time when electrocution, accidental overdose and run-ins with child molesters were rites of passage. And Vijai Nathan lives to tell about facing death at Chuck E. Cheese, meeting Jesus, her dad’s addiction to “Three’s Company” and becoming one of Charlie’s Angels. The Tank, 279 Church St. (betw. Franklin & White Sts.), 212-563-6269; 7:30, $5.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 30
(FILM)
AS YOU WISH
The Princess Bride. You’ve seen it a thousand times; you’ve quoted from it twice as many times, much to irritation of your dates and co-workers. Take them to see it again and be vindicated—at least you’re not dropping lines from Reservoir Dogs. The lawn of the Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park section of Brooklyn Bridge Park, sundown. free
(PARTY)
RADIO FREE LES
Every month the free Internet radio station Diskull.com holds a sweet (and also free) dance-rock party with its DJs, who spin indie/hip tunes from around the world. This month it’s at the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (at Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 10, free.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 31
(INTERACTIVE MUSIC)
OUT OF THE SHOWER
Time to take your karaoke experience to the next level. Ditch the video screen, the bouncing ball, the skipping CD or song machine. Become a sex machine. Choose from a long list of your favorite new and classic rock songs, shoot a cheap shot at the bar and grab the mic: It’s Rock Star Karaoke. Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 8, $5.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
(COMMUNITY)
AS THE DOUGH FLIES
There’s Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky, Tony
Hawk—the guys who are so good they make it look easy. Then there’s Joe Carlucci. He’s a world champion pizza dough tosser, and he’ll be doing his thing in front of Grotta Azzurra Ristorante on the corner of
Mulberry & Broome Sts.; 4, free.
(BURLESQUE)
Saturday Spectacular
The tease begins on Thursday and continues until Sunday, but don’t miss the New York Burlesque Festival’s big Saturday Spectacular for the buxom beauties who like to (almost) show you their stuff. Whether you’re in it for the neo-feminist vibe or the titillating thrill, the best ladies in the business—including Jo Boobs, World Famous *Bob*, the World Famous Pontani Sisters (and Tigger)—bring the sexy vibe to its peak. And will leave you longing for more. Highline Ballroom, 431 W. 16th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-414-5994; 8, $25/$30.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
(FILM)
ABOVE AND BELOW THE RADAR
Here’s an idea: Take an old classic, in this case Scorsese’s early crime drama Mean Streets, and show a few shorts by local up and comers beforehand. Come for the best, the Keitel and De Niro, stay for the brightest, the next wave of NYC’s finest filmmakers. Oh yeah, and make it free. In addition to Mean Streets, tonight’s screening will include Sloth by Peter D’Addeo, a short study of the chillest of the Seven Deadly Sins; and Barbara Hammond’s June Weddings, in which, on the way to his son’s wedding, a man stops in for a drink and talks about the past and the future with a lady who drinks champagne at noon. Galapagos, 70 N. Kent St. (betw. Kent and Wythe Sts.), B’klyn, 718-384-4586; 8, free.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
(TRAVEL)
VAMOS A LA PLAYA
All day today, the Circle Line ferries Labor Daytrippers—um, Day Laborers?—back and forth from Manhattan’s South Ferry to Sandy Hook beach in New Jersey. Now, we’ve never been, but a quick scan using Google Earth shows lots of white sand. Could this be one of the Garden State’s vacation best-kept secrets? There’s even a nude beach. Ferries leave from Pier 16 at the South Street Seaport at 9:20am, 11:20am and 1:20pm, with return trips 2:15 pm, 4:15pm and 6:15 pm; 888-9CLINE1. Advance roundtrip tickets are $29 for adults, $22 for kids, and $32 round-trip for adults and $22.00 round-trip for children day of.
(MUSIC)
A REUNION TOUR THAT DOES NOT SUCK, PART II
Hot on the heels of his appearance last night with his band Sebadoh, Lou Barlow continues his rampage of reunionness through the northeast with the band he was in before the doh’, Dinosaur Jr. They’re another band that scored a W with their return to the living: a critically acclaimed new album, “Beyond,” and the return of their frontman. J Mascis, to his well-deserved status as an indie rock guitar hero. He even has a Fender Jazzmaster named for him. Yes, it’s purple. With Dr. Dog, another one of Jeff Tweedy’s new favorite bands. Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th St. (btw 3rd and 4th Aves.), 212-353-1600). 8pm, $20.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
(THEATER)
SAYONARA, IL DUCE
The Billionaires for Bush are not happy. Their man’s party lost control of Congress. With Rove gone, their man—with the lowest approval rating in history—is due for a brain transplant. And everyone seems to be talking about the Democrats’ leading contenders. The Billionaires’ new musical revue, Billionaires Forever, attempts to answer the question, What’s going to happen to Billionaires For Bush once Bush is out of office? With new music from composer Clifford J. Tasner (aka “Felonius Ax”), and directed by Follies Artistic Director Melody Bates (aka “Ivy League-Legacy”), Billionaires Forever offers a peek into the rarely seen inner sanctums of the Bush Administration—and the Billionaires who pull the puppet strings. Musical numbers include classics like “I’m a Texas Oilman” and new gems like the “Billionaire Blues,” “Landmines Are a Girl’s Best Friend,” and new age lullaby “Global Warming.” The show is a hilarious and pointed reminder that Bush is not the end of the story when it comes to the Billionaires’ quest for Government of, by and for the world’s glorious Corporations. Starts today, with performances through September 9. West 45th St. Theatre, 354 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; 7, $20.
ONGOING
(COMMUNITY)
PUSHCART HEAVEN
With probably the best pun I’ve heard in a while for a name, Lower Feast Side is just that: a festival of local culture and food that would warm the heart and tempt the tongue of the most demanding gourmand. Every Sunday from July 1 through September 9, on Broome Street between Allen and Orchard, the LES Business Improvement District is hosting this “interactive street fair” that reinvents itself every week. Plus, a free historic walking tour of the Lower East Side at 3pm each Sunday leaves from the LES Visitors Center at 261 Broome Street, located on the block of the Feast. free.
(PARTY)
WILD STYLE
Every Tuesday night, the proud and fabulous freaks at Lotus throw a party called The Factory. It starts with a performance by Little Brooklyn Burlesque at 10:30pm. Then, and this one we don’t really get but here goes: “THE MONEY CANON shoots money and a chance to win a bottle of booze at 2am with Flambeaux and the P Cult!” Then there’s a porn star search. Definitely not for the faint of heart, The Factory is hosted by Rainblo, Miss Guy, Michael Formika Jones and others. Lotus, 409 W. 14th St. (btw 9th Ave. and Washington St.), 646-467-8251. 10pm, free if you say “Formika” or “Michael T” at the door.
(FILM)
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
Jørgen Lauersen Vig is a very eccentric, 82-year-old lifelong bachelor. He lives alone in the ramshackle Hesbjerg Castle in the Danish countryside and plans to donate his homestead to the Russian Orthodox Church to become a monastery. With his long, black overcoat and shock of unruly white hair, glasses perched on the tip of his nose, he’s been described as “a cross between Ebenezer Scrooge and Rasputin.” Sister Ambrosija, a spirited and attractive Russian Orthodox nun, arrives with a small entourage and begins to whip the place into shape. And it’s all a true story. Their battle of wills plays out in offbeat encounters that take unexpected turns in the haunting yet humorous documentary The Monastery: Mr. Vig and the Nun. Playing through Sept. 11. Film Forum, 209 W. Houston St. (6th Ave. & Varick St.), 212-727-8110, $5-$10.
(COMEDY)
GROWING PAINS
In their two-woman show Asbestos for Breakfast: Tales of Surviving Childhood, Eileen Kelly takes you on a jaunt through memory lane to a simpler time when electrocution, accidental overdose and run-ins with child molesters were rites of passage. And Vijai Nathan lives to tell about facing death at Chuck E. Cheese, meeting Jesus, her dad’s addiction to “Three’s Company” and becoming one of Charlie’s Angels. The Tank, 279 Church St. (betw. Franklin & White Sts.), 212-563-6269; 7:30, $5.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 30
(FILM)
AS YOU WISH
The Princess Bride. You’ve seen it a thousand times; you’ve quoted from it twice as many times, much to irritation of your dates and co-workers. Take them to see it again and be vindicated—at least you’re not dropping lines from Reservoir Dogs. The lawn of the Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park section of Brooklyn Bridge Park, sundown. free
(PARTY)
RADIO FREE LES
Every month the free Internet radio station Diskull.com holds a sweet (and also free) dance-rock party with its DJs, who spin indie/hip tunes from around the world. This month it’s at the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (at Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 10, free.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 31
(INTERACTIVE MUSIC)
OUT OF THE SHOWER
Time to take your karaoke experience to the next level. Ditch the video screen, the bouncing ball, the skipping CD or song machine. Become a sex machine. Choose from a long list of your favorite new and classic rock songs, shoot a cheap shot at the bar and grab the mic: It’s Rock Star Karaoke. Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 8, $5.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
(COMMUNITY)
AS THE DOUGH FLIES
There’s Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky, Tony
Hawk—the guys who are so good they make it look easy. Then there’s Joe Carlucci. He’s a world champion pizza dough tosser, and he’ll be doing his thing in front of Grotta Azzurra Ristorante on the corner of
Mulberry & Broome Sts.; 4, free.
(BURLESQUE)
Saturday Spectacular
The tease begins on Thursday and continues until Sunday, but don’t miss the New York Burlesque Festival’s big Saturday Spectacular for the buxom beauties who like to (almost) show you their stuff. Whether you’re in it for the neo-feminist vibe or the titillating thrill, the best ladies in the business—including Jo Boobs, World Famous *Bob*, the World Famous Pontani Sisters (and Tigger)—bring the sexy vibe to its peak. And will leave you longing for more. Highline Ballroom, 431 W. 16th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-414-5994; 8, $25/$30.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
(FILM)
ABOVE AND BELOW THE RADAR
Here’s an idea: Take an old classic, in this case Scorsese’s early crime drama Mean Streets, and show a few shorts by local up and comers beforehand. Come for the best, the Keitel and De Niro, stay for the brightest, the next wave of NYC’s finest filmmakers. Oh yeah, and make it free. In addition to Mean Streets, tonight’s screening will include Sloth by Peter D’Addeo, a short study of the chillest of the Seven Deadly Sins; and Barbara Hammond’s June Weddings, in which, on the way to his son’s wedding, a man stops in for a drink and talks about the past and the future with a lady who drinks champagne at noon. Galapagos, 70 N. Kent St. (betw. Kent and Wythe Sts.), B’klyn, 718-384-4586; 8, free.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
(TRAVEL)
VAMOS A LA PLAYA
All day today, the Circle Line ferries Labor Daytrippers—um, Day Laborers?—back and forth from Manhattan’s South Ferry to Sandy Hook beach in New Jersey. Now, we’ve never been, but a quick scan using Google Earth shows lots of white sand. Could this be one of the Garden State’s vacation best-kept secrets? There’s even a nude beach. Ferries leave from Pier 16 at the South Street Seaport at 9:20am, 11:20am and 1:20pm, with return trips 2:15 pm, 4:15pm and 6:15 pm; 888-9CLINE1. Advance roundtrip tickets are $29 for adults, $22 for kids, and $32 round-trip for adults and $22.00 round-trip for children day of.
(MUSIC)
A REUNION TOUR THAT DOES NOT SUCK, PART II
Hot on the heels of his appearance last night with his band Sebadoh, Lou Barlow continues his rampage of reunionness through the northeast with the band he was in before the doh’, Dinosaur Jr. They’re another band that scored a W with their return to the living: a critically acclaimed new album, “Beyond,” and the return of their frontman. J Mascis, to his well-deserved status as an indie rock guitar hero. He even has a Fender Jazzmaster named for him. Yes, it’s purple. With Dr. Dog, another one of Jeff Tweedy’s new favorite bands. Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th St. (btw 3rd and 4th Aves.), 212-353-1600). 8pm, $20.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
(THEATER)
SAYONARA, IL DUCE
The Billionaires for Bush are not happy. Their man’s party lost control of Congress. With Rove gone, their man—with the lowest approval rating in history—is due for a brain transplant. And everyone seems to be talking about the Democrats’ leading contenders. The Billionaires’ new musical revue, Billionaires Forever, attempts to answer the question, What’s going to happen to Billionaires For Bush once Bush is out of office? With new music from composer Clifford J. Tasner (aka “Felonius Ax”), and directed by Follies Artistic Director Melody Bates (aka “Ivy League-Legacy”), Billionaires Forever offers a peek into the rarely seen inner sanctums of the Bush Administration—and the Billionaires who pull the puppet strings. Musical numbers include classics like “I’m a Texas Oilman” and new gems like the “Billionaire Blues,” “Landmines Are a Girl’s Best Friend,” and new age lullaby “Global Warming.” The show is a hilarious and pointed reminder that Bush is not the end of the story when it comes to the Billionaires’ quest for Government of, by and for the world’s glorious Corporations. Starts today, with performances through September 9. West 45th St. Theatre, 354 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; 7, $20.
ONGOING
(COMMUNITY)
PUSHCART HEAVEN
With probably the best pun I’ve heard in a while for a name, Lower Feast Side is just that: a festival of local culture and food that would warm the heart and tempt the tongue of the most demanding gourmand. Every Sunday from July 1 through September 9, on Broome Street between Allen and Orchard, the LES Business Improvement District is hosting this “interactive street fair” that reinvents itself every week. Plus, a free historic walking tour of the Lower East Side at 3pm each Sunday leaves from the LES Visitors Center at 261 Broome Street, located on the block of the Feast. free.
(PARTY)
WILD STYLE
Every Tuesday night, the proud and fabulous freaks at Lotus throw a party called The Factory. It starts with a performance by Little Brooklyn Burlesque at 10:30pm. Then, and this one we don’t really get but here goes: “THE MONEY CANON shoots money and a chance to win a bottle of booze at 2am with Flambeaux and the P Cult!” Then there’s a porn star search. Definitely not for the faint of heart, The Factory is hosted by Rainblo, Miss Guy, Michael Formika Jones and others. Lotus, 409 W. 14th St. (btw 9th Ave. and Washington St.), 646-467-8251. 10pm, free if you say “Formika” or “Michael T” at the door.
(FILM)
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
Jørgen Lauersen Vig is a very eccentric, 82-year-old lifelong bachelor. He lives alone in the ramshackle Hesbjerg Castle in the Danish countryside and plans to donate his homestead to the Russian Orthodox Church to become a monastery. With his long, black overcoat and shock of unruly white hair, glasses perched on the tip of his nose, he’s been described as “a cross between Ebenezer Scrooge and Rasputin.” Sister Ambrosija, a spirited and attractive Russian Orthodox nun, arrives with a small entourage and begins to whip the place into shape. And it’s all a true story. Their battle of wills plays out in offbeat encounters that take unexpected turns in the haunting yet humorous documentary The Monastery: Mr. Vig and the Nun. Playing through Sept. 11. Film Forum, 209 W. Houston St. (6th Ave. & Varick St.), 212-727-8110, $5-$10.
