Dragonball Evolution
Directed by James Wong
Runtime: 84 min.
The idea of a new, live-action Dragonball movie initially sounds strange—until you learn that Stephen Chow is being billed as the film’s principal producer. Only someone as self-involved as Chow would think that now is the right time to make an English-language adaptation of an anime favorite that was wildly popular in America during the 1990s. I guess he wanted to strike while the iron is so cold it’s red-hot. The film in question, Dragonball Evolution, is not much more enlightening, with its inscrutable pan-Asian mix of the original Dragonball series’ humor and High School Musical’s teenage angst/camp attitude. No, for real answers, perplexed laypeople and fans alike must turn to the man with more unflappable cool than most snowmen: Chow Yun-Fat.
Only Chow, one of the few men that looks suave even while lighting his cigarette with smoldering cash, could make sense out of Dragonball Evolution, a feature film that feels more like a bad inside joke. Case in point: The film begins with a hack-tacular line from Gohan (Randall Duk Kim) that demands to be chortled at: “The first rule is there are no rules!” Shortly thereafter, we learn that the evil Lord Piccolo (James Marsters), once trapped in the center of the Earth, is now free (how we’ll never know) and must be stopped before he tries to take over the world again.
It’s up to young Goku (War of the Worlds’ Justin Chatwin) to stop Piccolo but, seeing as he’s a teenage outcast, that’s a pretty tall order. Even without the pressures of saving the world, Goku’s life is pretty hard, between hitting on Chi Chi (Jamie Chung), training with Gohan and restraining himself from pummeling the school bullies that call him “geek-o,” it’s remarkable that he has any free time at all. Thankfully, once Piccolo kills Gohan, his schedule frees up, allowing him to be both a messiah and a social pariah.
Here’s where things require Chow’s own superhuman talents: With Gohan dead, Goku must go on a quest to collect the seven Dragonballs, which will grant the person that gathers them one “perfect wish.” Along the way, Goku will fight Hydra-like mud monsters created from Piccolo’s blood, kiss Chi Chi, fight a girl that tricks him into thinking she’s Chi Chi, turn into a weird ape-werewolf thing and fight Chi Chi.
To answer a question that by now undoubtedly is eating you up: No, Akira Toriyama’s original manga and its subsequent anime adaptations didn't make much more sense. They didn’t need to since they were cartoons for children.
Chow’s performance gives the film the modicum of focus it needs to be cheesy fun—at least, whenever he’s onscreen. His decision to play Master Roshi, the perverted turtle hermit that trains Goku, was initially met with skepticism by over-defensive fans. How wrong they were. Chow’s Roshi is what Jackie Chan’s current on-screen persona should be more like. He’s a kooky, hyper-caffeinated Victor Wong-type whose facial muscles clench and flex with expertly timed comic twitchiness. His hamminess doesn’t make Dragonball Evolution make more sense, but it’s a great way to cope with an otherwise inexplicable kitschfest.
