We’ve noticed people saying things all the time about unemployment. I hear I’ll be making just as much as I made before. It’s great! I want to get laid off; I think they’ll pay me to be out of a job for years! I can work off-the-books and collect unemployment. I feel rich! But the facts don’t always match up.

First, you have been working for more than six months and have earned more than $1,600 in that time to be eligible for unemployment. The first $2,400 of benefits will be tax-free (after that, they are subject to federal, New York State and local income taxes). According to a spokesman with the Department of Labor in New York City, who requested not to be named, you may be able to get it if you’ve quit, “but you really have to show that there was going to be layoffs looming or special circumstances surrounding your departure.” He also told us that the average New Yorker receives $300 per week. Oh, and don’t be fooled: You do have to demonstrate that you’re actively looking for work by keeping a written record, so it’s not like a paid vacation. Here’s how the numbers stack up:

• The maximum amount you can qualify for is $405 per week.

• The Federal Additional Compensation credit of $25 is now in effect, so you’ll actually receive up to $430, with no additional paperwork.

• Currently, benefits are given for a maximum of 59 weeks of unemployment. You have until the end of this calendar year to apply for the 59 week total.

To apply for unemployment insurance benefits you must call or go online—that’s the only way to apply. There’s no longer an office where you walk in and ask for unemployment. Visit ui.labor.state.ny.us/UBC/ home.do for complete details or call the Telephone Claims Center at 1-888-209-8124 (hint: the TCC is less busy on Thursday and Friday afternoons).