The same damaged minds that brought us the Misshapes-era slut-fest ‘Stache returned to Beauty Bar last Thursday to soft-launch Boon Dickles Beaver House. Filling out the room was a clown car’s worth of glammed-up hosts and DJs: Tommy Hotpants, Zach McMillan, Rachel Moore, Duchess, Miss Understood, Michael T and Astro. Via the magic of sponsorship, Miss Understood was dispensing free shots of ginger liqueur from her nipples as she sashayed about in a camo mini dress. A clean-cut fellow went back for thirds.

When asked if she enjoyed breastfeeding people, Miss replied, “I’m giving everyone chlamydia, they just don’t know it yet.”

McMillan came over to make sure I noted how fiercely he rocked sparkly fishnets, platforms, gold hot shorts and a leather jacket and cap, so I asked how he came up with the idea for the party. “We were doing pills and sitting on black furs in my place, watching an ’88 documentary on a family of beavers, and we said, ‘Why not do Boon Dickles’ Beaver House?’”

I remembered the film from my childhood, but who’s this Dickles character? “Boon Dickles is like anything Mark Twain would’ve written to evoke a persona from a name,” explained McMillan. “A vibe, a meaning beyond the name.”

“Drugs can explain all of it,” Tommy chimed in. “We wanted to do something wacky and a little retarded.” Is that even OK to say?

“We modeled next week after Laugh-In. Not cool at all, but also a little stylish. In the future we’ll have DJs Ladyfag and Amanda Lepore, midgets dancing in the windows and projections of lumberjacks and vintage beaver films.”

I was surprised to hear that Amanda Lepore DJed, but Tommy cleared that up as well: “She doesn’t. She just stands there.” I then sidled up to tattooed coiffeur Astro and asked why he was hosting the party. “I want to keep the vibrant East Village alive, diverse and colorful. I feel like I have to carry the torch. Don’t let it burn out.”