“We’re going to drink the fuck outta some beer, and lick the fuck outta some pussy,” screamed Bridget Everett, the buxom (OK, zaftig) straight female guest hostess.

Victoria, best known for a Golden Girls tribute that brought in no less than five Blanche Devereaux (the plural is implied) and untold Dorothy Zbornaks, held a party for “faux queens,” or female drag queens, on Saturday night. Confused and bored by midnight, I was almost ready to leave when I spotted “showbiz” drag king Murray Hill chatting with Severin Dickson of Dickson’s Hairshop, my very own hairdresser.

Scrambling over to them, and managing to not spill my gin, I asked Hill what we were all doing here. I found out when Everett broke into her opening number, “More, More, More” by Andrea True. Truly riveting, the woman sings with raw power and soul. After praising Everett’s talents, Hill laid down other reason for attending: “Downtown there’s just no more gay performance art, kid.” Apparently, nightly lesbian variety shows used to be as common as spit on a sidewalk.

The night’s other acts consisted of some sexy burlesque, Everett belting out a fantastic “You Oughta Know” and the Varsity Interpretive Dance Squad’s rendition of Estelle’s “American Boy.” Only Lady Coco Lareau eclipsed them. This burlesque genius wore one heel while performing a genius-level drunken striptease. Falling asleep several times at the mic, she also removed no less than five inflated condoms from God-knows-where.

Breaking character at the end, she informed the audience: “I put BenGay on some of those condoms and my vag is burning up!” Happy 40th, Stonewall!