Photo by Daniel S. Burnstein
AFTER A NIGHT of drinking and frivolity, what we eat to soak up all that alcohol often says a lot about where we come from. Offer me a cheese steak sometime after 2 a.m., and my inner Philadelphian will scarf that down without thought to “calories” or “cholesterol.” And, thanks to my NYU days, a liquored-up visit to Mamoun’s or Pluck U always seems like a good idea. If you’re Canadian, chances are you’ll crave poutine, a slightly classier version of an American diner’s disco fries.
Previously only sporadically available in New York (a classless version at Pomme Frites, a faithful rendition at Park Slope’s Sheep Station and a brief stint at the late LW12), the Québécois dish is now readily available at T Poutine.The recently opened Lower East Side eatery aims to satiate those homegrown cravings, but also educate the night owls who descend upon diners at 3 a.m. in disco-fries-seeking hoards.
Everything about poutine reeks of forethought. Gone are thick-cut steak fries, American cheese and the thick brown gravy reminiscent of high school lunchrooms. Instead, hand-cut, “normal”-sized fries, fresh cheddar cheese curds and refined gravy (made with chicken or veal stock prepared in a fashion similar to the French velotte) are used. And much like disco fries and its many variations, poutine comes in countless preparations. At T Poutine, there are nine options, ranging from Greek to Tex-Mex and even vegetarian-inspired options. It is the Lower East Side after all.
The menu’s “classic” poutine ($6.75) is actually false advertising: the heavy beef gravy just doesn’t taste right with the extremely mild cheese curds, and the dish manages to be both under-seasoned and over-salted to boot.While the curds taste fine, they’re ideally meant to be made that day, and their freshness can be told by the squeak they make when you bite into the puffy orbs.These curds remained silent with every bite. The Pot Pie ($8.50) is a slightly larger—and much tastier—portion.The peppery gravy is more of a team player with the fries and curds (though still salty as hell), and the addition of chicken and peas helps give the dish a bit of an illusion of health, not to mention flavor and texture. And while the fries are nothing stellar, they do withstand all that sauce without disintegrating into a soggy, starchy mess before you reach the bottom of your skillet.
For those not in a French-fry mood, a small selection of other dishes are available, including Kobe beef sliders ($9.75), pankocrusted fried cheese curds ($5.50) and a dessert dish ($5.50) consisting of sweet potato fries with cinnamon sugar and maple. The star attraction remains the poutine selections, which can be served with either the regular or sweet potato fries.The narrow space seats about 24, but is not a pleasant sensory experience with its garish lighting, blaring Top 40 music and sterile, charmless décor. The target audience isn’t here for ambience; they’re here to get their grub on. And grumbles aside,T Poutine is a welcome addition to the clog-your-arteries-before-you-gohome-and-pass-out landscape.
Hours are still unofficial, though the shop seems to generally open around 2, Tuesday through Sunday, closing as late as 4 a.m. on weekends. Despite claims of delivery, nobody actually answered the phone despite a week’s worth of calls, so good luck with that. Your best bet is to not make T Poutine your destination, but the place you stumble into with a few of your drunkest friends. Just like Canada.
> T Poutine
168 Ludlow St. (between Houston & Stanton Sts.), 646-833-7444, www.tpoutine.com
It’s a healthy illusion...on top of French fries.
