How I Learned to Live In New York

Sept. 23, Happy Ending, 302 Broome St. (betw. Forsyth & Eldridge Sts.), 212-334-9676; 8, FREE Lessons from funny people about learning to cope in the big city like, from my own trove: Don’t argue with those crazy black Jews—it’ll only end in blows, and you’ll be late to class. And, make sure your fake ID spells the name of the state correctly. “New Hamshire” does not exist.

Bottom Line: Paul Ford, Seth Herzog, Brooke Van Poppelen and others.