$25 and Under

Bleach Reissue

$14.99 at Other Music, 15 E. 4th St. (betw. Broadway & Lafayette St.), 212-477-8150

It’s hard to believe that Bleach, the first album that Nirvana released, is 20 years old. What’s most amazing about this is that the album still manages to sound completely kick-ass and totally relevant. With the newly-released and re-mastered edition (available on CD or 180-gram white vinyl with brand new liner notes), the album is joined by a live recording of a 1990 show in Portland, Ore., that proves the band’s success was no fluke. Forget buying albums from this year’s buzz bands for your loved ones: Whether they were around for grunge or not, a gift of Bleach is a sure-fire way to make sure that the people who matter to you stay evil.

Jesus Briefs

$25, Yellow Rat Bastard, 483 Broadway (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 877-935-5728

People are always saying that Christmas is losing its religious leanings, but those people are obviously wearing very boring underwear. If they were wearing the biblically-inspired skivvies from Piss & Vinegar—available as briefs, boxer briefs or a crowd-pleasing jock strap—they would realize that Christmas cheer is obviously religious and easy to share (in this case, it also happens to offer excellent support). So go ahead and spread it… holiday cheer, that is.

A Very Sunny Christmas

$17.99 at Best Buy, 60 W. 23rd St. (at 6th Ave.), 212-366-1373

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of the most original comedies on television, but seeing its cast of completely amoral characters do the unthinkable over and over again can start to feel played out. The gang’s Christmas special—available on DVD—avoids this fate by having some moments so outrageous that there is no way to fight the hilarity. We are talking about some pretty crazy things even by Sunny standards, including Charlie taking a bloody bite out of the neck of Santa, a twisted Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer inspired claymation segment and a very naked Danny DeVito. Give this to a friend with a sense of humor, or, better yet, one who will let you borrow it.

Dirt Balls

$16 at Dylan’s Candy Bar, 1011 3rd Ave. (at E. 60th St.), 646-735-0078

They don’t look like much when you first get them. Compared to the cup-runnethover photo on the Dylan’s Candy Bar website, both the amount of candy and the size of the garbage can-shaped container they come in seem a wee-bit paltry for $16. But then you taste one, and resistance becomes futile. Cookie pieces dipped in white chocolate and rolled in more chocolate cookie crumbs, Dirt Balls sound like a sensory overload, but the reality is something far more subtle and addictive. They have a pleasing, crunchyyet-creamy texture, and a sweet, just-rich-enough taste that takes a couple of samplings to precisely pin down. Then again, that might just be our own flimsy justification for eating, like, half a container over the course of an hour. Either way, they’re really freaking good.

Beech Tree

$16.95 at Muji, 455 Broadway (betw. Grand & Howard Sts.), 212-334-2002 Hauling a real Christmas tree up to your apartment is a pain, no matter how nice those popup shops smell or how charming the visiting lumberjacks who run them are. Our solution is Muji’s sad, Charlie Brown-esque tree (which our ladyfriends have pointed out will double as a nice jewelry holder post-holidays). Big enough for slight trimming but small enough to fit anywhere in that dank hovel you call an apartment, the little wonder is sufficiently cute to have yourself and cheap enough to give to a friend who’s all bummed out about missing Jesus’ birthday in whatever backwater burg he came from.

Punk Rock Bobbleheads

$14.95–$16.95 at www.aggronautix.com

Celebrate the season with one of the year’s most wonderfully weird juxtapositions: the profane, thrashing and all-around nutso energy of punk rockers G.G. Allin and Tesco Vee as channeled through that most innocuous of kitsch memorabilia, the bobblehead. The dolls, distributed by rock-and-roll collectibles company Aggronautix, are a little jarring at first, but end up being a pleasing combination of the serene and the psychotic. With its blood-splattered chrome dome and various profanities carved into his nearly-naked body, the “extra filthy bloody edition” of Allin looks ready to kill you, yet will only jiggle its oversized cranium when provoked. The Vee doll may be flipping you off pretty fierce (perhaps a preemptive response to any snide comments about its kickin’ ABBA pants and matching clogs), but in the end, it’s all head-nod and no bite. These twisted little beauties will be the perfect fuck-theman complement to any punk rocker’s dashboard.