The first time I met Telli from Ninjasonik, he probably should have punched me in the face. Instead, he gave me drugs. Late one night at Daddy’s, I was in an aggressive state of inebriation, owing to my female companion not wanting to make out with me. Ignoring my provocations, Telli joined our table, informed us it was his birthday, shared his party favors, invited us to an after-hours and generally acted like a stand-up dude. Read more

Like my pal Ernest Hemingway, I’ve always had a yen for Havana. During my teenage days, after taking an inspiring Latin American history class, I volunteered to toil in the orange fields with the Venceremos Brigade. Viva La Revolucion! I was foiled when the sponsors of the trip, a Quaker organization, discovered I was only 16 years old. Read more

“Performance art is the purest form of art,” claimed Erik Hokanson, who runs the Grace Exhibition Space, a medium-sized loft in Bushwick that exhibits only performance art, with his girlfriend Jill McDermid. “You’re emotionally enabling, getting people involved. It’s different than theater or dance because when you do that, you’re pretending.” Read more

Size isn’t everything, but after my disastrous marriage, I never date short men anymore. Oscar is only 13 inches tall, though very buff for his small stature, weighing in at eight pounds. Is my Read more

Life is like a box of bon bons.You never know what youre gonna get.The same went for the fabulous party called Bon Bon, hosted by Susanne Bartsch and Kenny Kenny, that met an untimely death last week. Read more Read it in print

“You people are my 550 closest friends,” Michael Musto announced to the crowd of partygoers at his 25th anniversary party with the Village Voice at 230 Fifth. “This is an amazing place, like the Starship Enterprise meets the Love Boat,” he quipped, referring to the deluxe venue. Read more

I first met Talia Eisenberg at a dinner party on the rooftop of The Chelsea Hotel. An assortment of models, artists, Wall Streeters and photographers (like the one who brought me) had gathered for one of those debaucherous Dionysian evenings I at times read about though am never, in any way, a part of. Incredibly out of place, I spent the evening smoking cigarettes by my lonesome when the very thin, blond and bubbly Eisenberg came by to chat with me. She started telling me about Heist Gallery, which she had opened that spring, and how amazing it was and basically the same spiel you tend to get from every pretty girl with a dream while you nod and smile and look for more alcohol. Cut to last Wednesday when, during the closing night of the Quick While Still exhibition, Heist Gallery sold five of its dozen $10,000-plus pieces only an hour in to the evening. Read more

When it comes to partying hard, Friday and Saturday are for amateurs, but Sunday night is for pros. If you’re out past 3 a.m. on a Sunday before the sickening regularity of the 9 to 5 starts all over again, you know it’s a good party. Well, last week I went to Alphabet Sundays at Arrow Bar despite an overwhelming urge to stay home. And once I got there, I didn’t wanna leave. Read more

Tuesday night at Santos Party House, owner Andrew WK appeared on stage in his trademark white jeans and white T-shirt after keeping a mostly-male crowd stewing in unlit silence for 45 minutes. They were waiting for a night billed “Ask Andrew WK Anything,” a chance to kibbitz with the mysterious man and pick his brain about topics large and small. Read more

“Please don’t use that picture! My brother will come to America and beat me up,” the pretty Asian woman begged coquettishly, as she felt my body up and down, nuzzling me and offering to bring me free drinks. Originally, she’d told me to take her photo. No problem.There were other girls on hand happy to strut their stuff for the lense. Blond and buxom porn star Kagney Lynn Carter, Pethouse Pet of the Month in June 2009, for one, who was up on the stage shaking her 34 DDs and touching them enticingly. She really wanted her picture taken and I was happy to comply. She was one hell of a looker in her pink satin dress. Read more Read it in print