NEW YORK IS caught in the claws of lobster fever, the latest stop on the city's food trend bus. One minute, folks are frothing over the latest Pat LaFriedablend burger. The next, everyone's gone gaga for fried chicken or perhaps pizza with a crust as thin as my patience for dealing with fleeting fads. more

Beside zombie clowns and working a full-time office job, few things frighten me as much as listening to a barber talk. more

Barring a last-minute change of heart featuring a mad dash from the altar and into the backseat of a fast car bound westward, by the time you read this column I'll be wed. "About time," I'm sure my mother is whispering under her breath. Of her three children, I'm the first to get hitched. more

As a native Ohioan, Im a sworn enemy of all things Michigan. For those not reared in the Midwest this may seem like a quaint hate, a petty provincial battle played out in parts of the country where people say pop instead of soda. more

Its my birthday! I said. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes as if my words were the noonday sun, a look Ill have plenty of time to get used to over the ensuing, oh, 40 or 50 years. Just because youre turning 33 doesnt mean that you should look like youre nude. more

IT WAS NOT my intention to visit another bar that required me to insert dollar bills into the crevices of comely, tattooed lasses. But such are the peccadilloes one commits while answering a thorny question: How would you spend your last night in New York?. more

IT'S A TORRID Upper West Side Tuesday night, and shoppers are bustling to Fairway and Zabar's, stocking up on cheese, veggies and coronary-causing kosher meat. I haven't trekked here for brisket. Instead, I'm outside of Fatty Crab (2170 Broadway, betw. W. 76th & W. 77th Sts., www.fattycrab.com), a Malaysian-inspired restaurant, awaiting Singapore gourmand K.F. Seetoh. We're scheduled to meet at 7:15, but he's running late. This gives me time to unspool his tale. more

For now, you need to know that I finally uncrated my Cuisinart. It was a mechanical marvel. With it I created hummus, curry paste, fresh tomato sauce, pesto—the rich agricultural bounty of southeastern Ohio meant that nearly any blended foodstuff was within my grasp. "You were right about the Cuisinart," I told my mom, a tough sentence for me mutter. I hate being wrong. Moreover, I hate admitting to my mistakes. But more often than not, mothers know best. more

Jeff Greenspan had no practical involvement in street art before the age of 39. Doing improvisational comedy was his attempt at having any sort of public impact. A copywriter and creative director by day, he was never audacious enough to call himself an artist. more

"I think we need to get you a tomato pie," my friend Will said, knee-steering our car from the City of Brotherly Love at a speed that Indianapolis 500 aficionados would appreciate. "It's what you eat in Trenton, New Jersey." more