Best of Manhattan 2001 Readers' Poll
"You must now turn up to the duel if you have a man’s heart rather than a mare’s. And if anyone fails to turn up, then a scorn-pole will be raised against him with this curse–that he will be a coward in the eyes of all men, and will never again share the fellowship of good folk, and will endure the wrath of the gods, and bear the name of a truce-breaker."
With this their ways parted and each headed back to his homestead. News of this spread through the region. These duels were to take place at the same time as Thorstein was to hold a feast at Hof, as he did every autumn.
There was a woman named Helga; she came to Iceland with Berg and was his mistress. She was a large and imposing woman, gifted with foresight and prophecy, and wise in witches’ ways.
She said to Berg, "Things have turned out unhappily for you and your kinsmen in that you intend to try your luck against the sons of Ingimund. It must not go this way, because Thorstein is a proven man in both intelligence and luck, and it is rightly said of Jokul that no berserk is his equal anywhere in the Northern Quarter, and you are no match for him, powerful figure that you are; and whatever great disgrace you have already suffered at his hands, you will endure twice as much if you have any further dealings with him."
Berg replied, "Jokul has said so much that it has become intolerable for me."
Helga replied, "Even though you are so stupid that you cannot look after yourself, I will bring it about that this duel never takes place."
"Why shouldn’t you have the last word?" said Berg.
Finnbogi knew nothing of these plans.
And now, as to this year’s Readers’ Poll. Best fries? McDonald’s. Best coffee? Starbucks. Best political candidate? Mark Green. Best home furnishings? Crate & Barrel. Best New York Press writer? Knipfel. Best weekly magazine? Time Out New York. Etc.
Thank you, genius who thought the best reason to evict Bubba from Harlem was because "he scarfs all the fried chicken." Much obliged, the reader who noted of the renewed Harlem, "Heah come the crackers." Appreciate the tip, you esthetes who responded to "Best Jazz Venue" with the news that "Jazz is dead" and "Jazz is boring." Tip of the hat to the Buchananites who responded, "Fuck the French" to "Best French Bistro" and "Screw Jamaica" to "Best Jamaican Restaurant." Nice try, Universal Force Yoga, but as we warned you, ballot-stuffing is frowned upon.
Let the scorn-pole be erected.
Media & Politics
Best Mayoral Candidate Mark Green
Best Dumb Move by a Local Political Candidate Mike Bloomberg Running for Mayor
Best Weekly Magazine Time Out New York
Best Silicon Alley Implosion Pseudo
Best Aggravating Local Campaign Commercial Bloomberg
Best Side Effect of Rev Al’s lncarceration (Besides Weight Loss) More Food for the Rest of Us
Best Times Columnist William Safire
Best Reason to Avoid New York Press MUGGER
Best Tabloid New York Post
Best Daily Newspaper The New York Times
Best New York Press Writer Jim Knipfel
Best New York Times Writer to Laugh At Maureen Dowd
Best New York Press Cartoonist Tony Millionaire
Best Media Columnist MUGGER
Best New York Post Columnist to Avoid All
Best Food Writer Andrey Slivka
Best Magazine to Avoid Talk
Best Sports Coverage New York Post
Best Gossip Column Michael Musto
Best Newsstand Hudson News
Best Bicycle Shop Toga Bike Shop
Best Used Clothes Salvation Army
Best Tobacconist Nat Sherman
Best Home Furnishings Crate & Barrel
Best Wine Shop Astor Wines &
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