Our old pal the cimex lectularius is quite the horny bastard, since the amount of complaints to 311 have increased to 9,200 this year. According to the New York vs Bed Bugs advocacy group, that's a 34% increase in calls since 2007, proving that these microscopic bloodsuckers are doing better than ever, although they had to file a Freedom of Information request to confirm it. Although the bugs have mutated and are now impervious almost all of our pesticides, blaming the rest of the world for the infestation is what we do best. However, cheap-ass college students rescuing yet another free couch deserve equal shame.
The problem is most common in areas where people don't buy a $200 papoose when a twin bed sheet works just fine—but to deal with it, the City Council will vote next week to ban the selling of used mattresses and generally make a big stink until a "bed bug task force" is created nip the problem in the thorax.





