Nobody held back in Saturday’s Gotham Girls Roller Derby game at Hunter College. Both teams were undefeated and out for blood. This could be why so many fouls were committed, two players were ejected for half the game, and the medics spent more time in the rink then I am used to seeing.
The game started out innocently enough, with a special Michael Jackson tribute by Manhattan’s captain, Sweet Sherry Pie (No. 201), who moon walked on skates to the delight of the crowd. After her moment in the spotlight, Bronx star player Bonnie Thunders (No. 340) stepped up against high-scoring Manhattan player Em Dash (No. –). Dash quickly became lead jammer, and, with the help of her teammate Surly Temple’s (No. 99) wicked hip thrust, Thunders was left behind. Thunders eventually got through just as Dash called off the jam, scoring 8 points for Manhattan.
Next up the quick Beatrix Slaughter (No. 42) jammed for the Bronx against the “ball of fury,” aka Polly Gone (No. >2). Slaughter led the game, but called it off when Gone broke through the Bronx blockers. They were followed by another jam between Thunders and Dash, where the Bronx babe got her revenge and scored 4 points. Gone stepped up into the jammer potions again, but this time with Bronx’s Luna Impact (No. 29.5). In a mad sprint, Gone got ahead of her opponent, only to be sent to the penalty box. Impact had complete reign of the rink, but, due to the superb blocking by Manhattan, she didn’t get through to score any points. Manhattan’s blockers couldn’t stop Thunders in the next jam. The lithe skater dodged and slipped through them, gaining the upper hand for Bronx.
At this point in the game, my friend (a roller derby virgin) turned to me and pronounced her love of the game. “It’s basically the same skill you use walking down the street in Times Square,” she said, already plotting how she could join the league (good timing too, they are recruiting for next season’s fresh meat).
Back in the rink, string bean Fisit Cuffs (No. 241) battled Impact, who calmly weaved in and out of players and tried to get a head. Gone and Pie manage to successfully block her until they broke the 20-foot-away rule and had to let her pass. Bronx’s Murder City Mandy (No. 1900) jolted out of the penalty box to help her team. The people in front of us start shouting “Go Pie,” which sounds delightfully dirty as the old women behind us gushed like giddy school girls over Manhattan’s players.
As the first half of the bout neared the end, the game became confusing as more players went in and out of the penalty box. Bronx’s captain Kandy Kakes (No. perfect 10) had so many fouls that she was ejected from the first half. At one point, Manhattan’s rookie Gal XC (No. 90) and Gone were in the box together with Bronx’s jammer, leaving Dash to jam alone. The last jam of the first half had Gone and Thunders facing off, but the Manhattan girl appeared tired and ready for it to be done. It ended with Bronx beating Manhattan, 55 to 39.
The highlight of the half-time show was a marriage proposal that came with complementary T-shirts reading “We’re engaged, suck it.” Ah, nothing says I love you like watching hot chicks battle it out on skates with your sweetheart. The second half started with a revived, though not quite herself Gone against Thunders. Blocking for Manhattan were the all star players: Pie, Temple, and Cuffs against Bronx’s Speed McQueen (No. 36DD, which obviously is her bra size), Brigitte Barhot (No. swingin’ 60’s), and league president Ginger Snap (No. 80). These women are fierce and neither jammer has an easy time getting through, but Thunders eventually did.
Next, Impact battled it out with Cuffs, but the real action happened after the jam was called off. Apparently unaware of the end of the jam, Pie barreled into Impact, who received quite a blow and fell down. That illegal move noticeably shook up Impact and put Pie in the penalty box. Impact bounced back and within a few jams she took the jammer potion against Dash, who trounced her. All the players worked hard in this intense game, but some took it too seriously. Bronx player She Raw (No. 20) defied authority and cut across the middle of the rink. Rumor had it she told the referee that she wouldn’t go to the penalty box and was henceforth ejected from the rest of the game.
Another player took a plunge and the room went eerily quiet. Lucky for her, and us, Temple shouted from her fetal position “I’m okay!” and the crowed erupted in cheers. She got back to her feet and continued the game. Almost immediately after Temple’s fall, Gone crashed into another player and lied on the ground convulsing. But, she was okay too and the game continued with Bronx leading Manhattan. The last jam of the night had Bronx’s Care Bear Scare (No. 321) playing against Dash. After a brief pep talk from Thunders, Scare looked ready to go. But, she was no match for Dash’s dashes and fell irrecoverably behind. Dash cleaned house and attained 15 points for her team, but not enough to win the game. Though the scores were close, only one team remains undefeated this season—the Bronx, who won, 99 to 75.
Photo by Jon Tannen
This is part of New York Press’ coverage of Gotham Girls roller derby, season 2009 (read previous coverage here). Next game between Queens of Pain vs. Brooklyn Bombshells is on Saturday, Sept. 26 at Hunter College’s Sportsplex.
