Is Bowling a sport? How about Ping-Pong? Competitive eating is a farce, right? Well, what would you think if I told you a new record was set in the 9th annual Masturbate-a-thon? That guy certainly isn’t an athlete, right? What if I told you he set the record at well over nine hours straight? Yeah, bowling sounds a lot easier now, doesn’t it?
What Tiger Woods is to golf, or Michael Phelps is to swimming, Masanobu Sato is to masturbation. A champion through and through, Sato was able to redefine what it means to compete in his personal sport by masturbating for nine hours and 58 minutes straight. What has to be the masturbating world record was set at the Center for Sex & Culture last Saturday. Vice got an interview with the man, who spoke about the pride his family and girlfriend have for him and the level of greatness he has achieved.
Sato’s drug test came back negative for performance-enhancing drugs, there was no Viagra or Cialis found in his system immediately after the competition, but the game’s biggest star certainly isn’t without the taint of sponsorship. Sato performed for the entire competition in his TENGA T-shirt, showing off the sex-toy company that he works for in Japan, and this commercialization of the sport has come under heavy criticism. Still, Sato has become an inspiration for many young people in the world who can’t run or field a baseball, but would still love to become an athlete like him one day.
