Bout Action: Post-Season Double-Header, Brooklyn Bombshells Vs. Sockit Wenches; Queens of Pain Vs. Sockit Wenches

As the roller derby season winds down, interest in the sport has just sparked. The crowd at Saturday’s double-header game was chock full of newbies, tweens, and kids. You could just see images of Ellen Page in their young, innocent eyes. While the games weren’t nearly as violent as the ones in “Whip It,” the visiting team, Sockit Wenches, gave our gals a run for the money and went home with the prize.

First, up, the Brooklyn Bombshells battled it out with the Seattle team. First up, we had Brooklyn’s Carmen Monoxide (No. 12) against pig-tailed clad visitor X-Khan (No. 18 & life). As soon as they took off it became apparent that these Seattle chicks were fierce. X-Khan aggressively skated her way through the Bombshells but before she could score, she was sent to the penalty box. On the offensive, Juliet Bravo (No. 76), blocked Carmen well, but not good enough. Carmen shot past here and sneaked behind the Viking-esq Anya Heels (No. 6 shooter) who looked surprised to see Carmen pass her by. Her surprise turned to pissed off and she went after Brooklyn’s nimble skater. That didn’t stop Carmen from sweeping the floor and scoring 14 points in the first jam, and, getting sent to the box.

The second jam placed Seattle’s Jalapeño Business (No. 22) against nobody, since Carmen was in the box along with blocker OMG WTF (No. 753). This jam had all the drama of the movies. A pile up of Wenches, a Brooklyn girl held back by blockers, then, Carmen breaks free of the box, and before she can do anything, Business scores five points and calls off the jam. If they had known what a limber and amazing player Seattle’s Miss Fortune (No. 99) was, they probably wouldn’t have pitted rookie Double Clutch (Break her 1-9) against her. Almost immediately, Fortune gets ahead to become the lead jammer. As she goes around and around, scoring 14 points for the Wenches, Clutch never made it past the girth of blockers. The next jam proved a little more evenly weighed with Brooklyn’s Barbara Ambush (No. 1600) against Seattle’s Swede Hurt (No. 46). With the aid of blockers

Unfortunately for the Bombshells, they recently lost one of their best players, Aunti Christ (No. 666) to California. Funny enough, just as she was leaving I finally met her, only to discover that she is a regular at the bar I love and work at. Her going away party was there and suddenly I found myself surrounded by Gotham Girls. It’s a small world and I wish she wasn’t leaving.

Now, back to the game, since they were doing a double header, each jam was only 20 minutes long with a brief break in between. By the end of the first half, Seattle led by seven points, 56 to Brooklyn’s 49.

The second half started with Carmen against Kahn, but while Papierschnitt kept the Wench at bay, our jammer managed to get sent to the box. OMG and Hard Anya (No. i4i) joined Papierschnitt and they kept Kahn back until Carmen got back in the game. The two jammers went at it, collided and Carmen was found guilty of something, though what still remains unclear, and as she skated to the box again, the crowed erupted in boos. This allowed the next jam to be dominated by Seattle’s jammer and gave the Wenches a 28-point lead.

Next, Papierschnitt redeemed her team by scoring 10 points. The rest of the Bombshells followed suit, as if that short break in between rallied them up. But in the end, Seattle won after sending Heels to jam. I saw a lot of fouls, but the refs didn’t appear to notice. I guess the gaggle of thin, fast Brooklyn girls were no match for the size of some of the Seattle players. The Wenches won with 107 points to Brooklyn’s 87.

After a half time show by NYC Bike Polo (who kept loosing their ball among the crowd) and a weak costume contest, the Wenches were back, but this time against league champions, the Queens of Pain. Lucky for the Queens their top player Suzy Hotrod (No. 55) was back in the game after last month’s injury—and boy, was she ready to roll. Up against Jalapeno, Hotrod immediately took the lead jammer poison but called off the game after scoring one point. Apparently something happened at this juncture because she was sent to the box and a new jam began with Kahn pitted against no one. Despite the superb blockers on the Queens side, Kahn broke though and scored 9 points.

Next up, Queens’ Steel Magnolia (No. 61) battled it out against the Wenches’ Fortune. Magnolia barely made it through Seattle’s blockers, but when she did, it was too late and Fortune won 8 points for her team. Swede then took the floor with Anais Ninja (No. 101) and Clobberin’ Mame (No. 440 big block), who had sat out the entire Brooklyn game, came on the floor to block. These Seattle ladies mean business. Not only did they have some heavy weights on their team, but the players were fierce. Heels didn’t think twice about using her hip to knock Ninja out as she tried to pass. Actually, if there was one player I would want on my side, it would be Heels (who also won MVP), the blonde braided warrior doesn’t hesitate at all to push you down.

In a jam against Hotrod and Seattle’s Ima Handul (No. 17), the Queens gal used her famous “butt block” and stared, teasingly at her opponent. They finally broke apart and Hotrod took the lead, but, as she did before, called it off right away. By the end of the first half, Seattle was in the lead, 42 to 27. Hotrod continued to play, taking the lead and calling it of ASAP. It was an ending jam by Hotrod that really got the crowed going. She was jamming against Fortune, who got sent to the box. In a graceful move, she swept the floor numerous times, scoring 24 points in one jam an bringing the Queens score closer to Seattle’s. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. The last jam had Steel vs. Wile E. Peyote (No. 2g), a quick player who was about to skate her last jam ever. Peyote took the lead and brought her team to victory with 86 points to Queens’ 67. A good, solid game, which everyone played well—though, save for the fishnets and striped socks, not like the movies.

Photo by Tom Igoe

This is part of New York Press’ coverage of Gotham Girls roller derby, season 2009 (read previous coverage here). Next game is the League Championship between Bronx Gridlock and Manhattan Mayhem on Sat., Nov. 21 at Hunter College’s Sportsplex, 6:30 p.m.