Yes, The Deep End is irrevocably soapy. Even had the pilot been a stellar hour of television, I would have resented enjoying it simply because the powers-that-be have been describing their show as “Grey’s Anatomy with lawyers. And yes, it really is just about gorgeous young associates at a law firm, grappling with how to best represent their less well-off, less beautiful clients, along with questions of conscience and questions of lust. And yes, The Good Wife utterly sinks this melodramatic fantasy. But… it has a kickass cast.

Well, partly kickass. Broadway star Norbert Leo Butz is finally allowed to do his arrogant-mensch shtick on TV, while Tina Majorino (much beloved from her stints on Veronica Mars and Big Love) now has the chance to appear on a TV show that people might actually watch. But the characters, do-gooder with a savior complex Dylan (Matt Long), horny Brit Liam (Ben Lawson), daddy-issue riddled sophisticate Beth (Leah Pipes) and deceptively weak Addie (Majorino), all come out of central casting.

Presumably, we’re expected to tune in every week to watch these young idealists wage a battle against the conformity of success and middle-age (best exemplified by Billy Zane’s managing partner, whose over-plucked eyebrows make him resemble an out-of-drag contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race), but if the pilot is any indication, these battles will be about as interesting as jury duty. Liam almost bangs a potential client because she mistakenly assumes he’s Jewish; Dylan wrings his hands over the possibility of his client losing custody of her son; Beth’s father cruelly tells her she’s not ruthless enough to earn a place at his law firm. Yawn.

The truth is, those who will keep tuning in will do so because everyone needs that show that requires no outlay of effort or brain waves (when will you return, Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva?), and The Deep End is pretty much a warm bath for your brain, one that happens to feature an unerring knack for great guest stars (why hello, Kate Burton and Rachelle Lefevre!). Uninvested in these eager, seemingly well-off young attorneys, the consequences of their actions won’t matter nearly as much as how much skin they flash and how interesting the scrapes will be that they will unerringly get into. Because make no mistake: The Deep End is sailing in shallow waters.

Pictured, l. to r.: Norbert Leo Butz, Matt Long, Tina Majorino, Ben Lawson.

Photo courtesy of ABC/Scott Garfield.