This Friday The Hookies take place, an awards show for male escorts. Raven O will be the MC for the evening, and I agreed to be a "presenter" at the awards, which take place at Chelsea nightclub Rebel (251 W. 30th St.) beginning at 11 p.m. I'm still not sure what award I'll be presenting, but categories include Best Newcomer, Best Pornstar Escort, Best Top, Best Ass, Best Fetish Escort, Best Tattoos, Best Body, Biggest Cock, Best Duo, Best Boyfriend Fantasy, Best Mature Escort 40 , Best Escort Blogger / Writer, Best Escort Agency, Mr.International Escort 2010. So you get the idea. If you'd like to vote for any of these categories, whether you have firsthand knowledge or not, visit the site, and you'll get an eyeful. And the event is free if you arrive before 11 p.m., so come on out and cheer me on. And if you hang around afterward, you can join the F Word party, which moved from Santos to Rebel a little while ago. No matter what, it'll be a fun night.

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Our own Jamie Peck probably isn't awake yet but she's already making waves. The tiny terror ended up in Page Six this morning thanks to some choice words she had regarding a long-ago photo shoot with creepy photographer Terry Richardson.

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The fine folks over at BlackBook have done us the favor of investigating the history of the sex doll, moving from Avid’s ivory sex toy in the year 8 to a doll released this year that features customizable personalities. What we’re curious about, though, is the future—where will sex toys go from here?

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When the pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock to convert so-called savages to their religious sensibility, the pious Protestants were lacking a tool in their arsenal 21st Century atheists at the University of Texas at San Antonio are all too happy to exploit: the power of porn.

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An OK Cupid study might be one step closer to determining how to tell if a man is gay, straight or bisexual and it has nothing to do with their grooming, fashion or interior decorating skill.

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Playboy turns 50 this week, surely making it twice as old as any of its creator's girlfriends. Sadly the magazine's golden anniversary is shadowed by the fact that the porn industry is limper than we assume Hugh Hefner to be without the help of Viagra. And in honor of Playboy’s milestone, The Wrap, like a superhero with a capital P on its chest (or rather on its crotch), came up with a list for saving the sex industry by pumping some blood back into porn.

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If Apple were a person and not a multi-billion-dollar computer company, I’d call it a cock tease. After causing an uproar earlier this week by banning some explicit apps from its online store, the company known to hawk more new products than a Mary Kay consultant seemed to be making a compromise by adding an explicit category to its app submission process. But that was before Apple changed its mind again leaving several with a cyberspace case of blue balls.

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There’s a joke that asks, “What does a gay man bring on a second date?” The answer, of course, is, “What’s a second date?”

Tonight at Union Hall, comedian Brent Sullivan will help the gays get halfway to the mythical second date when he hosts the bar and club’s first-ever Gay Speed Dating Night.

With $2 beer specials to make the night less awkward, it’s shaping up to be an easy, boozy way to meet guys without using the Internet. And for those who want to do both, you’re shit out of luck; the basement of Union Hall has the worst cell reception in town.

We had our own brief encounter with Sullivan to get his tips on making a night of speed dating go as smoothly as a stroller down nearby 5th Avenue.

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According to a poll of 436 men in Sexually Transmitted Infections journal: "Men are twice as likely to take the condom off midway through sex due to a poor fit. And according to a U.K. report, men should know that condoms come in different sizes and shapes. Of course, it's one of those standard-issue news stories that doesn't really address actual feelings or problems with condom use. It reports about condom use as if the way straight and gay men think about, treat and use condoms is the same (it's not) and obliquely talks about condoms being too big (and men in Africa thinking they're too small) but without ever really getting at deeper issues. We had a story last year, "The Trouble With Safe Sex," that tried to address some of the problems with "safer sex," especially with condom use and men who have sex with men, but it's one of those things people still don't like to discuss. If we can't even suggest people use condoms openly in the U.S., how will we ever get a conversation about different sizes and shapes? Or this may just be more dick sizing up since last year a survey in Europe purportedly revealed that the French "need" the largest condoms and the Greeks get by with smaller ones...

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I spent Saturday night surrounded by penises, breasts and vaginas. But before you get too hot and bothered, it wasn’t some kinky surprise from my valentine. It was the opening night reception for Lucky Gallery’s new exhibition, Daily Porn.

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